Update on "favor friend"...

Okay, so I need to vent. Or cry. Or just throw a pity of one party. Anyway, I posted on here a few months ago about my friend who only texts/calls when she needs a favor, like a ride, babysitter, or money. Well, I've decided to put my foot down. DH and I agreed that this is the LAST time we are helping her (and her husband and kids) with anything. Long story short, my friend whom I've known 20+ years, since high school, again asked me for help last week. She is married, 2 kids, a girl 7 and a boy 3. The 7 y/o is my Goddaughter and I spoil her b/c I want to and she is such a sweetheart and good girl. I do buy bday and holiday gifts for the 3 y/o as well just b/c I know they don't have alot to give and I don't want him to feel left out at Christmas. He is alot to handle but sweet and good for "auntie" when I babysit. In the past, I have driven her to work and back, 10+ miles each way; driven her to the doctor and out of town appts, babysat last minute (for free!), paid her rent once so she would not get evicted, put gas in her car twice, and bought her groceries at least twice. How nice am I, right? Of course, I do talk this all over with DH before doing any of this b/c it is our money and we have to agree on all purchases for any friend, not just her. Anyway, last weekend, her husband called me (because she refused to) and asked me to come over. I went over there on my lunch break and they asked me, well more HE asked me, if I would help them with planning a budget and bill paying schedule. They also asked if I would hold money for them each paycheck like a savings plan for them also and not give them any money unless dire emergency (which I told them means fire, flood, famine, or death) and not stupid stuff like a new laptop or TV. They cannot have any checking/saving accts at any bank b/c of bad credit and losing their accts due to overdrafts, etc. Anyway, I said sure to holding money for them each paycheck. I will hide it in my house and keep track of the amounts and only give to them when absolutely needed. I stipulated that I will not give them money for spending unless it's the kids' birthday or Christmas.

On to part 2, then they asked if I could buy them food for the week (again) b/c they were short on money until payday next weekend and "we just need the essentials," so I wrote down a list like milk, bread, butter, cereal, Ramen, etc and said okay (with husband's okay too) and went to Aldi the next day. I shop there and it's the cheapest place in town to get groceries. I spent $41 on groceries for 4 people for 7 days plus milk at Kwik Trip b/c the bags are much cheaper. Plus the gas I put in their car a month ago, the total comes to around $100.

Onto my vent, I texted my friend the morning I went to Aldi to tell her I was buying food and see you in a bit, etc. She asks me if I'm going to Walmart too. I said No. She said Oh. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? I am not going to 2 places to buy you food when A) Aldi is cheaper than Walmart and B) I'm not making an extra trip just to buy hot pockets. So I go to Aldi, spend $41, and drop off the food. They said thank you, the kids loved the food, and her husband was very grateful and appreciative. I also typed up a budget and bill plan on who to pay and when and how much and budgeted gas, food, clothes, kids stuff, and all other misc for the house in that budget. And made sure to write that down b/c she will "forget" to buy food or clothes for the kids.  Plus giving DH and I money each check to hold for them. She said thank you for that. THEN....on my own, b/c I wanted to be extra nice and help out, I gave her one of my old cookbooks, lots of recipes, coupons, websites for free stuff, a list on how to save money/live cheap, and 101 free ideas to do with kids (like rainy day activites and such). Nothing. Didn't bat an eyelash. I told her that hamburger and chicken is so much cheaper at Aldi, and she said half joking, half snotty "I saw their meat once and it's kinda ehh."

Okay, so call me stupid or an enabler or whatever. But if anyone offered to help you the way I helped my friend, knowing that you used up your 1000th favor and swallowed your pride to ask for help yet again, would you be grateful for what you got or did I go too far with the extra stuff and insult her? I was trying to help b/c she always complains of being broke. I told her everything I said/gave to her is the same thing my husband and I do.

I'm not sure why I wrote this, maybe to vent or get an opinion or have someone tell me I did a good thing, or even that I'm an idiot, I'm fine with that too. Anyway, thanks for letting me vent.

p.s. I told her husband after she left for work that I'm not helping her but enabling her and if she does not heed my advice and follow the budget, I'm done. If she gets evicted or has no lights or food, the gravy train has left and as much as it kills me to see that happen to her kids, I can't afford to help her out anymore.

AAAHHH