Doctor Funny

1. A man comes into the ER and yells . . . 'My wife’s going to have her baby in the cab.' I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the lady's dress and began to take off her underwear. Suddenly I noticed that there were several cabs - - - and I was in the wrong one. Submitted by Dr. Mark MacDonald,San Francisco2 ...

I have been having hand and wrist problems and needed to go in for a nerve conduction study. The doctor who performed it is very attractive, charismatic and intense. I'm not a flirt at all, lol, in fact rather stoic and more on the intellectual side (if you want to call it that, i'm just the extreme opposite to charismatic). So, he tells me to lay down on the table, and sort of said it with an embarrassed smile. I could tell he was embarrassed to say that. ...

Don't think I want to go to him though. LOL ...

Two days in a row I get something funny! "The patient is complaining of pain on palpation to his first psychotic dermatologist." I think I'll skip this doctor. ...

Do any of you not get the annual tests done that your doctor advises? I am getting tired of always explaining why I won't get a mammogram, pelvic exam or colonoscopy. He gets very perturbed with me but I am a true believer that the patient has to take responsibility for their medical care or else the doctor will test you for everything under the sun, especially if you have insurance (which I do). He always says "what does it matter to you, it's not your money". ...

This morning he said "His sleech is slightly spurred." ...

due to my kidney function. Now my back, neck and shoulders ache like crazy! Does anyone have any suggestions for something I could take or do for the pain? TIA ...

four cell phone calls from his wife discussing the sale of their automobile? ...

with this or can you suggest more "natural" treatment? TIA ...

Never, ever leave flashlights, shampoo bottles, beer bottles or any long, circular object on the floor because someday you will fall on it and it will somehow, work its way up your rectum. ...

So, I'm one of those people generally don't go to the doctor unless they are spurting blood across the room, but... A couple months ago, I found a lump in my breast, so I made an appointment with a GYN. I went there, they had me leave a urine sample, he felt the lump, wrote me a referral to a breast surgeon and for a mammogram/ultrasound and told me it would definitely need to be biopsied (freaking me out some more) and that was it. I had the mammogram/ultrasound. His office call ...

My husband has had eight surgeries in the past three years to repair damage done to him during a pituitary tumor removal surgery. We are in desperate need of a neurosurgeon and an ENT that would be willing to be our expert witnesses in the lawsuit. We really aren't ones to sue, but this has changed our lives forever, as my husband will never be able to work again, and has gone through more than most people can even imagine! Any and all prayers will be greatly appreciated. I know God has a p ...

Wall Street Journal. This is from '09 but is well worth the read. Find out how CommieCare will affect your doctor (and/or CLIENT). The news is NOT good! As expected, as expenses soar many private-practice docs will be DRIVEN OUT OF BUSINESS, which of course, has been the plan all along as we move toward centralized medicine. ...

Dictated: dog took off and the leash Speech Rec: Dr. Kaufman the leech ...

A member of my family has been on pain medication for about five years now. It started with OxyContin and has slowly progressed to a combination of OxyContin, Oxycodone, Roxycontin, Percocet, and Fentanyl patches - all used on a regular basis, some for breakthrough pain. This family member does have several medical conditions that do cause her pain, but DH and I have been thinking for a while that this amount of medication seems a bit much. We found out that the doctor prescri ...

Doctor dictated - The patient's phyisician is ---- (gave the name of the physician). VR spit out - Patient's physician is in his backpack. LOL ...

This is just a small part of why many of us believe there will be a change for the good this November. This is a commercial here and a very good one at that. The people in charge right now are just outright lying. They have no conscious. Our health care is not a game. Looking forward to Nov. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tiT4yg8OSbM Our state is very concerned and we have a right to be. ...

This is apalling that "doctors" would do this. I have a feeling they are not real physicians, but they are handing out these notes to anyone who needs one. Really teaching our children right, aren't they? This is disgusting! Those that show up with those notes should be FIRED IMMEDIATELY. It's bad enough that this is an illegal strike, although they don't call it a strike, but it is just as bad. MacIver News Service | February 19, 2011 12:05pm Updated 2:40pm &nb ...

Went to a new doc after many years of not going. As I was speaking of a series of upsetting deaths and started to cry a tiny bit, he just kept clicking away on his lap top (and maybe nodded a couple times). Aside from that, my TSH was in the normal range (but near one end) and no free T3 or T4 were done, but I have had numerous thyroid symptoms for 12 years or so (didn't realize they correlated for several years and never had it assessed). He said my TSH was VERY normal so ...

LETTER FROM YOUNG DOCTOR TO THE PRESIDENT: (A doctor's point of view) Barack Hussein Obama The White House1600 Pennsylvania Avenue N.W.Washington, DC 20500 Mr. President, I was born at Centennial Medical Center in Nashville, Tennessee. My mother would later take a job delivering babies in that same operating room only a couple years later. My parents got a divorce when I was young. There were many times during the summer when she would be forced to take my sister and me to work ...

I got out of bed Saturday, and when I stepped down, there was sharp pain to my medial knee. I cannot walk on it. Thankfully, there is next to no pain when there is no pressure on it and it is not fully flexed or fully extended. Medial meniscal tear and/or MCL tear? I have leftover NSAIDs from a neck problem years ago and some old tramadol, which are helping. On his way to borrow a walker from a friend, my husband passed a yard sale and noticed a pair of crutches. &n ...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zr1IDQ2V1eM This is very interesting especially to medical transcriptionists. ...

"If you like your doctor, you can keep your doctor" was President Barack Obama's signature catchphrase he used to sell the Affordable Care Act to the American people. Now Obamacare's flagship website, healthcare.gov, no longer even addresses the issue. Ironically, the section in question was the first public (if indirect) admission by the Obama administration that the president's promise was less than a "guarantee." The original website contained a section entitled "Can I ...

is on...3rd!! LOL!! Kinda funny how the address is in the 6000 range. ...

IMHO, he NEVER should have been on trial to begin with and the U.S. should have gotten him out of Pakistan immediately instead of letting him rot in prison. Doctor who helped find Osama bin Laden gets a new trial PESHAWAR, PAKISTAN— A senior judicial official on Thursday overturned the prison sentence of a Pakistani doctor who helped the CIA find Osama bin Laden and ordered his re-trial, citing procedural problems with the initial trial. The official, Sahibzada Mohammad Anis, issu ...

Jumana Nagarwala, 44, of Northville Michigan is accused of performing female genital mutilation on underage girls. According to a criminal complaint, Nagarwala performed the procedure on girls ages six to eight years old at a medical clinic in Livonia. Some of the children were brought from out of state for the illegal procedure. Female Genital Mutilation (FGM) is considered the complete removal or partial removal of the clitoris, known as a clitoridectomy. FGM is internationally recogniz ...

Doctor Funny

Thanks! I needed the laugh! - NW MT

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