A community of 30,000 US Transcriptionist serving Medical Transcription Industry
Gosh, I'm embarrassed
Posted: Feb 28, 2016
So here's the story. I left MT and now work in a rural hospital. I really enjoy my job and find most of my responsibilities immensely satisfying. My co-workers are a great bunch of people, and my manager is cool. Surprisingly, my MT knowledge comes into play every day! Overall, the transition from the isolation of MT to pretty intense interaction with both patients and staff has been amazing...except...
From the beginning, the employees from another department, with whom I have to deal frequently, have been shockingly hostile to me. I don't think I did anything to precipitate it, although I've been humiliatingly apologetic (for what I'm not sure). There's a long history of tension between our departments before I even started working there, but I quickly became a target. I've been so naive! One person in particular...there have been times when I thought I MUST have misunderstood her because of the inappropriateness of her remarks to me...I could give examples...but, trust me, this lady is toxic and intimidating. I'm ashamed to say that I'm, well, afraid of her.
My boss thinks this is all kind of funny and says I should just blow it off and do my best not to cross her. She complains about me to her boss, who then writes my boss memos accusing me of wrongdoing. My boss gives me a chance to "defend" my actions and says he can't discern what I've done to make them so vindictive. Until yesterday, I couldn't put a name to what was happening until a friend called it "workplace bullying." I'm embarrassed that anyone can have this kind of power over me at my age, causing loss of sleep, profound anxiety, and life-threatening (>200 systolic) hypertension. I have upbeat and positive interactions with all other hospital personnel, from the administrator to the janitorial staff.
So I'm just curious...what would YOU do? Some of this drama is subtle and some plain outrageous, but all of it is calculated. Am I just playing a victim? Do I sound whiny and paranoid? Should I just grow up and get over it? I think I may be lacking in some "people skills" after so many years of working from home, but I guarantee I'm not fanning the flames.
Should I just ignore this and hope it will pass? Can anyone really DO anything about stuff like this or just pretend it doesn't bother them? Am I still in the 3rd grade?
;
Me, I would give it back to her in her face - sm
[ In Reply To ..]outside the view of others...But I am a born and raised Ahole...For the more even tempered people, Go to your boss, make a complaint and demand he do something, and if he doesn't then you go up the chain of command all the way to the administrator of the hospital if you have to..
Record it on your iPhone. That way you'll have proof. Then - threaten to put it on You Tube.
[ In Reply To ..]I hate people like that.
What I would do - Nick
[ In Reply To ..]I would document (briefly) each and every incident. Then I would go to HR, explain that there is apparently a long history of friction between the departments, and that you feel bullied. Not only what the other person(s) is doing not classy and takes time away from what you all should be doing (working), it is may be what is classified in the law as creating a hostile workplace. That is against the law. I would make my visit to HR light, pleasant, but firm. Convey to them that you are a professional, you there to work, and you expect to do so in a professionally oriented workplace that does not include bullying, taunts, etc. Could it be that these other people are just bored and this is how they amuse themselves? I know that this is pretty low, but believe it or not, I have seen this kind of behavior even from highly placed attorneys (and their secretaries, too) who seem to resort to sandbox behavior from time to time, so I guess we are all human and never really lose that little kid in us all. That said, this kind of behavior has no place at work and the director of HR has the legal duty to stop it. Good luck to you.
From the OP - Wow
[ In Reply To ..]You guys have all given some great feedback and suggestions. Thanks so much for your insight! I didn't realize how much this situation was affecting me until I put it in writing and started researching it.
I have no idea what motivates people to behave this way, but I'm relieved to know that there is specific terminology to describe it and laws to prevent it.
To the OP - Nick
[ In Reply To ..]What disturbs me about your situation is that this atmosphere seems to have existed before you came on the scene. It is part of the "corporate culture," as it were. It makes me wonder what the department head is doing and how aware of things he or she is? Depending on how serious the hostility is, and only--if ONLY--you have seen HR and nothing is done, you may have a legal cause of action against them. I would only use this as a last resort, and above all, do not threaten them with legal action at this stage. Just go to HR and try to resolve it in a collegial manner. Keep a small notebook and every time there is an incident, jot it down. (This can be really informal--you are not writing a brief to the Supreme Court--the object is to create a timeline of what happened when. Write the date of the incident, the names of the parties involved and the names of any witnesses. Also, if there are any sexual overtones to the harassment, write that too, as that will give you a separate cause of action for sexual harassment if that is happening as well. I am not saying it is; I just want you to have your bases covered.) This will help you both with HR and should you (hopefully not) have to pursue any legal remedy, you will have all your ducks in a row. I am betting that all it will take is for HR (who you can bet knows all about workplace hostility, harassment, etc.) to have a little chat with your department head. It may be that there is a ringleader in your crew who needs to be fired, since they seem to keep the pot stirred and have done so for some time. Why do they do this? Sorry, I do not have a card in the psychiatrist's union, but I suspect it is a way they relieve workplace boredom. Some people have absolutely no work ethic and would rather goof off or gossip and things like that. I really do fault the department head/supervisor for not having put a stop to this long ago. If s/he uses the excuse that "I didn't know about it," that tells you that s/he is not management material. It is management's job to know--and stop--these things. So go to the dollar store, buy a cheap notebook, and keep a log. Good luck to you!
Some responses to your comments - From OP
[ In Reply To ..]Hi, Nick. Thanks for your interest and observations.
Please know that I am neither litigious nor a troublemaker, and I've done nothing knowingly to contribute to this problem. I can and will start taking notes.
bully - sue
[ In Reply To ..]Look her square in the face and say "do the words RESTRAINING ORDER mean anything to you?"
You gave me my first laugh today! - :) LOL
[ In Reply To ..]Haha. Funny how caps jump out at you, isn't it? I just about jumped back from my puter screen!
Bad dog syndrome--hopefully not a sociopath - Emmie
[ In Reply To ..]I read a book about sociopaths, the gist of which is that sociopaths range from the very worst like Ted Bundy to regular people who just like to be mean in small petty ways--and there WAY more of that kind. The commonality is that they have no conscience. I have come across people I think of as "bad dogs." The more you roll over to accommodate them, the meaner they are. I discovered that if you do not give in to them, do not apologize for anything, and act someone aloof, pretty soon they are trying to get in your good graces. My husband complained about a guy in his department who was so difficult even though my husband had done everything this guy wanted from giving him the schedule he wanted, the classroom he wanted, etc. The next semester this guy had to teach an 8 a.m. class. He was his usual mean self, but my husband didn't back down, didn't apologize, just said that's the way it was. Not only did he not have any more trouble , but this guy did a 180 in behavior. It was actually kind of sickening. I don't know if these people need an alpha dog to put them in their place or if they think they've come across another sociopath and admire their own kind. My suggestion is not to bother trying to be pleasant or befriend her. Most of us have been raised to turn the other cheek and be kind, but sometimes you have to play the game a bit differently. Good luck!
Comments - from the OP
[ In Reply To ..]This is all SO TRUE!! I bent over backwards to gain their approval and set the tone for further aggression. How foolish I must have looked. :( This is the source of some of my embarrassment, together with being so stunned at their jabs that I was rendered speechless.
Nevertheless, as you say, it's never too late to change the way you deal with these types of people; in fact, over the last 2 weeks, I feel that I've made some progress.
I laughed my head off at your statement, "I don't know if these people...think they've come across another sociopath and admire their own kind." ROFL
What? She violated HIPAA like that? - Nick
[ In Reply To ..]I personally feel that that alone merits a letter to the hospital administrator with copies to the people who enforce HIPAA. That ought to be enough to send her flying out the door. You might ask the hospital administrator, "Do the words LOSS OF ACCREDITATION mean anything to you?" This woman sounds like (as my buddy from Brooklyn says) a PIECE OF WORK.
To the OP - Nick
[ In Reply To ..]It does not sound like you are litigious at all. It sounds like you were blindsided by a situation that existed long before your arrival and would undoubtedly have caught anyone who took the job. None of this is your fault, so please do not internalize or blame yourself. I would really be interested to know what on earth the management of this outfit is doing. It sounds like they do not know how to manage. Keep notes. Write the full names of parties involved, dates, and times. Just a couple of sentences describing what happened and what you did to ameliorate the situation. If need be, you can link up with a plaintiff employment lawyer and give them a big kick in the whatchahoozie if they will not resolve it on your own. If someone does not call them to task, they will just do it to the next person unfortunate enough to take the job in good faith. It sounds like a pretty dysfunctional workplace. Good luck! Please keep us informed as to what happens.
Thanks for the support! - From OP
[ In Reply To ..]I'll let you know how events unfold. I greatly appreciate your input. You seem to grasp situations instinctively...this characteristic will serve you well as a lawyer! :)
Do not engage. Smile. Bring donuts. Compliment if necessary - Stay calm (nm)
[ In Reply To ..]dd
Kitty has claws - Backwoods Typist
[ In Reply To ..]I would find a way to declaw this kitty. It is not your problem that the other department has such a problem with your department, but that gives them no excuse to do what they do to you.
The fact that the manager came to you and mentioned something about your mother shows a breach of HIPAA and should be reported. If nothing else, use this to shut her up, as it may be a way to shut down the tension period as the manager wants to keep her backside out of hot water. By reporting her breach, it could be enough to send her out the door permanently (which could potentially shut down the tension between the departments since she seems to be the driving force) or hurt her pride enough to shut her up, and somehow change dynamics between the departments. However, it could also make you more of a target.
Use your phone to record interactions. Keep it hid or make a logical excuse as to why you have it. There are apps out there that allow a one-button activation that do not trigger lights or anything on your phone. Eventually, they will mess up and you will have what you need to go to HR or hospital administration or labor board to get this shut down. If you cant record, then keep a written record of everything, as Nick suggested.
If this were me, on the next outrageous act, I would ask just what the hell it was I did to them for them to treat me with such hostility, that I was not responsible for whatever caused friction between the departments in the first place, and that it needs to stop. Either that or I would come up with some smartazz remarks to come back with to shut them down. But that is me...I dont mind bringing my claws out to defend myself.
All very good advice. - Thanks!
[ In Reply To ..]I'll work with my cellphone so that I can activate "record" without bringing the phone out into the open.
I've seen a startling number of HIPAA violations at this facility. I've even spoken to violators directly. They express a casual disregard for it and think I'm a little rigid. "Oh, get off it. This is a small community, and there are no secrets." The thing about it is that an observer of a violation can also be penalized for failing to report it. I brought a HIPAA book to work (from my MT days) and offered to loan it out, but nobody was interested. I had only the most superficial review of HIPAA provided at orientation.
Up to now I've been fighting this battle solely on my own and believing that I was guilty of creating drama without cause. Someone I confided in recently asked me not to tell her anymore because the hostility had begun to spill over to her just by association. She was concerned that she would be sucked into it as well. I thank you all for your patience and fabulous ideas. :)
I would USE the term "workplace bullying" - to my supervisor, (sm)
[ In Reply To ..]who needs to start taking it seriously. At the very least, it could cause them to lose valuable employees like you. It could also subject them to a lawsuit and negative publicity. At the worst, they need to realize that toxic bullying environments all too often end up in violence in the workplace, schools, etc.
Hostile work environment - call it what it is
[ In Reply To ..]This is clearly a hostile work environment and I would use this term when talking to HR. Shame on them for not handling this before. It doesn't sound like it is your nature to want to push back but I would definitely call her out on her comments "excuse me? (make her repeat it), "please don't use that language with me" .... Maybe she needs to be challenged. It's terrible for one person or people to create this. Shame on your supervisor for not addressing this. It's NOT okay.
Oh, My - see msg
[ In Reply To ..]Oh, I know how you feel. I worked in a gawdawful (non-MT) medical environment, then decided to just quit. It was horrible.
So, I can't say just brush it off. DO KNOW that when there are any sort of administrative problems, it trickles down to the workers, and the workers then can become horrible to others---and, I think I'm like you---I'm a target, because I try to get along with everyone. I stupidly apologize when things aren't my fault.
If you can, just don't apologize. I agree with the notion that we who are perceived weak, get the worst of the abuse. It's particularly difficult when you're new somewhere---you don't want to be perceived as a trouble maker.
I wish you luck. I don't know if pushing back the bullies through legal means will get you anywhere---there are a lot of complicated office politics, and you don't want administration against you. They could make your life more miserable than any crazy office person, because they hold a lot of control over who works there and who doesn't.
I don't know what the answer is, but try to remain calm, and try not to show weakness.
Oh, this is one reason I just hate working in a big office. I finally found a mom and pop environment doing clerical and just love it. No big financial/insurance/PTO benefits, not great pay, but my stress level is at ZERO....
Best of luck to you. Remember, you are NEVER stuck anywhere.
another suggestion - MTMT
[ In Reply To ..]It sounds like you are like me... you try to get along with everyone and don't like confrontations or making scenes. I think all of the ideas everyone presented are great. You should definitely be recording these attacks if you can, and write down everything so you have what you need when you go to HR. But in the meantime, when this person says something awful to you, just look at them like, "Really?" Then shake your head, and turn and walk away. You don't even have to say a word. And when this person realizes she can no longer push your buttons to get the response SHE wants (embarrassment, anger, whatever) she will move on to other targets.
Good luck!
She could be the favored one - be careful
[ In Reply To ..]Either the favored one or holds something over her boss and HR
and everyone is afraid and unwilling to do anything about it
and you will be the scapegoat.
I'd still first enlist your supervisor's assistance to get the insults to stop immediately. If not, then ask what the next step is and that you will be moving up the chain as it is definitely not appropriate to be treated that way
From the OP - sm
[ In Reply To ..]Hi, all. Well, this has been a learning experience, and I've considered each of your responses carefully.
When I went to work this week, my attitude had changed...I was armed with information. When I crossed paths with the bully, my demeanor communicated this unequivocally: "STOP IT NOW." My expression was utterly neutral, yet she got the message. It was an alpha dog moment if there ever was one; Cesar Milan would have been proud. The bully has been silent since, and, other than trying to stare me down with a look of pure and unadulterated hatred, has lost her power over me. Psychological warfare, textbook. Spell broken. Go get a life, honey.
The problems haven't been completely resolved, of course, but it's so much more effective to have had this "communication" directly instead of asking HR for protection. It may be necessary to do so in the future, but it's a very powerful thing to stop being the victim of someone else's dysfunction. I feel like a winner now and thank you for your empathy.
I will carefully document any future incidents.
Yes, HR has a responsibility to prevent this from happening in the first place and can be made to enforce the policy...but a bully can still (figuratively AND literally) confront you in the parking lot.
Lesson learned: Set your boundaries early on and deal with violations promptly.
Now the HIPAA violations are a different matter entirely...
Good for you! - see msg
[ In Reply To ..]That is so perfect. You did not cause a stink (which would make you look bad), but you handled it directly.
l
HR is bound by rules to stop any bullying, but it doesn't mean they're really on your side, so things can get subtly ugly if they perceive you as a threat.
Glad you did this. It makes you feel less of a victim. Kudos to you!
OP, you ROCKED IT! - Emmie
[ In Reply To ..]For some reason the lyric "I am woman, hear me roar" ran through my head when reading about how you handled the workplace bully (metaphorical roar, anyway). The crucial, most important thing is that you decided to handle this situation in your life and feel good about your choice. Whatever happens in you life, stand up for yourself.
Gotta leave for work now - but had to respond
[ In Reply To ..]LOL-- I'm ROARING, baby! There were probably a lot of ways to handle my situation, but nonverbally seemed wise; I mean, how could I ever be accused of LOOKING at someone?? But it spoke volumes, and it was clear that she understood.
This is a small community (~18,000). Because I wield more social influence than she does and have more connections, she could readily be perceived as an underdog. It's hard for me to understand how this all developed in the first place, really.
But now...I have on a snappy suit and a smile, and I'm headed to work free from intimidation.
Wise Decision - see msg
[ In Reply To ..]I think not being a rabble rouser says a lot about you. It's actually classy, and throws the "bad guys" for a loop.
I'm not saying I disagree with posters who say to raise heck, but I do believe that other things should be tried first.
If they don't work, you can decide from there if you want to make it a "legal" issue, or just move on and work elsewhere. Everybody has a different personality, and I personally am a "move one, work elsewhere" type. Only you can decide how much effort and energy you want to put into the fight.
In any case, whatever is going on there, it has nothing to do with you.
Work places can become like a big dysfunctional family--people bring in their own dysfunctions and it makes for a toxic dynamic. AND, some people are just plain MEAN and prey on the nice guys.
Best of luck to you! I have definitely been the "victim" of some real jerks in the work place, so I know how that can be.
Congratulations - meekie
[ In Reply To ..]So glad things are going well for the OP and work is less stressful.
While searching for work outside of MT, I was shocked to see how many office jobs state "drama-free" work environment!! It must be a real issue if it is worth mentioning in job ads. I applaude offices that take a no tolerance approach to that kind of toxicity.
Document, document, document - and then document some more
[ In Reply To ..]Sometimes there are very strange dynamics going on in a workplace and sometimes when you are new it can be directed toward you in a most vicious way, more so than you even realize until suddenly it explodes in your face.
My advice, document everything, be prepared, when you are in an abnormal type of work environment, things can get very weird, very fast. So keep a record of everything that is out of order, no matter how petty, note the date and time, where you were, what you were doing, etc.
You don't know what can happen, you could quite suddenly find yourself out of a job; it is best to be prepared, and notes of this sort are very handy in the event you need to take legal action.
And it is okay as your nasty co-worker does whatever it is she does that she sees you writing things down.
PS: Writing things down is better than taking a video. Your written nodes are always admissible in a law suit, a video may not be because you may be in a state where consent is required, and then you could find yourself at the wrong end of a lawsuit.
If you do decide to take a video, be sure to ask permission.
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