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My mom and my sister are forever fighting and I'm stuck in the middle. - Inthemiddle

Posted: Apr 14th, 2019 - 11:32 am

Even when they are supposedly "getting along" they are so not getting along.  One of them is always calling me telling me what the other said or did.  I'm so completely tired of being stuck in the middle of them.  My mom is a pill for sure.  She sticks her nose into business that is none of her business and she always give her unsolicited opinion and she is downright rude sometimes.  This is who she is.  She has always been this way ALWAYS.  My sister knows this and yet just loses her mind every single time my mom shoots of her mouth.  My sister always acts so outraged that mom could have said something like that and I'm always like are you new here?  I get along okay with my mom.  That's not to say that she doesn't make me mad.  She makes me made plenty, but I can gently put her back into her place and let her know she's irritating me.  I don't have to have a fit or scream or cry.  I just say "Mom, stop, I love you, but it's none of your business."  She'll always answer me back with "you're right, it's not."  Of course, then she sighs and rolls her eyes to let me know I'm handling it wrong.  Whatever, I don't care, but my sister cares big time.  Like it affects her mood, her entire day at work.  She can't let it go ever.

I have had them both over to my house for a "talk" to air things out and they get there and neither freaking one of them would say anything to each other like they say to me about each other.  It was infuriating!  Just yesterday we were all at a birthday party.  My sister's son, who is 25 years old mind you, had two really big pieces of cake and my mom commented to him when he went back for his second piece saying "OMG you're having another piece of cake" to which he repolied "the first one was small."  That was the complete exchange.  Later my mom was telling how he's put on weight and he had two pieces of cake.  I said mom "he's a grown man, he can eat what he wants."  She didn't say anything else.  My sister calls me today to vent about what our mother said to "her child."  She said mom was body shaming and diet shaming her child and she had had it with her.  So to try and diffuse the situation I said to me sister basically what I said to my mom that her son " was a grown man and if what mom said bother him, he should have said something to her."  So now my sister is going to tell mom off.  The kicker is this not more than a week ago my sister was telling me how much weight her son has put on and he needs to watch what he eats and she asked me to say something to him because he lives me (he rents out my basement).  I refused to say somthing because He's a grown man and I'm not his mother.  So basically my sister is mad at mom for doing something she is guilty of doing a week ago.  If I say that to her, she will lose her mind on me.  There is no gently reminding my sister of anything.  She takes everything to heart and she will visciously come back at you. 

I feel my anger building up in me towards both of them and I'm about to lose it.  I don't want to.  I don't really want to waste my time energy fighting with either them or being their referee.  If I don't answer their calls, they will both take it personally.


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