Dave Barry Reviews 2009

ABOUT THE WRITER Dave Barry is a Pulitzer Prize-winning humor columnist for the Miami Herald. Colonoscopy Journal: I called my friend Andy Sable, a gastroenterologist, to make an appointment for a colonoscopy. A few days later, in his office, Andy showed me a color diagram of the colon, a lengthy organ that appears to go all over the place, at one point passing briefly through Minneapolis. Then Andy explained the col ...

Michael Tomasky (left): Speech was dull, pedestrian, overconfident. Charles Krauthamer (right): Empty, meaningless, deceptive. Numbers pulled out of thin air as empty promises - e.g., he's to create x number of (teaching, green, whatever) jobs but not the slightest idea how. And even Jon Stewart is beginning to make fun of the Democrats' mindless adoration of Obama. My review: Who wrote this speech - Howdy Doody? ...

Never got into jazz music until I met my father in law. He was in the Dave Brubeck quartet in the 50s or early 60s. One of the greatest muscians of all times. ...

Turnout for the GOP recall primary was sparse. Spending on August recalls expected to reach 20 million. Meanwhile, Walker's foot soldiers at the Capitol try to ramrod redistricting map through before August (their latest in a series of transparent power grabs) in an effort to throw voters intent on reversing the GOP majority into a such confusion they will decide to stay home. Lame, but true. 166 days and still counting. ...

The president has endorsed gay marriage. Get 'em stirred up again? Fur will fly. ...

Will he be like Carter THAT way too? A meddlesome busybody? A Clinton can't-get-it-through-his-head-he's-not-President? Or maybe a combination of BOTH? Or will he have the class of the Bushes - both I and II - who have pretty much just stepped aside and not interfered with their successors. Now - think about it. I just asked if Obama would show any class or not. The betting window is open. ...

O-O-O-O-, somebody's gonna be PO'd. ...

Most of you know I am big on the funny stuff. This is my favorite funny from 2009, enjoy it again. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q4fPHt0FjEU ...

These are the "terrorist" attacks that took place in 2009. I put the word "terrorist" in quotes because most were minimal to no injuries or death and the first two are definitely questionable for being listed as terrorist attacks. . West Memphis, Arkansas, United States. Trent P. Pierce Chairman of the Arkansas State Medical Board was critically injured in a car bombing that occurred in his drive way. There are reports that he received serious injuries to his abdomen and face, ...

when a woman was told to take down her display of the American flag in a hospital because it offened her supervisor from Africa. Now we have teenagers, at least one being half Hispanic himself, who got in trouble for wearing patriotic t-shirts and bandannas because it offended Hispanic students as it was Cinco De Mayo. Then you have an incident where a student gets 3 days suspension for taking down the Mexican flag that was displayed in his school because it was higher than the Ameri ...

Well, I have finally decided the time is right and am getting married on Saturday, October 31, 2009 at 3 p.m. Just a small gathering of about a dozen friends and family. My dress is ordered (GORGEOUS!), our rings are ordered and should be ready next week, I've ordered my bouquet, a friend of ours is making a customized little box for her son (the ring-bearer) to carry, and their little 3 year old daughter will be our flower girl. My daugher, age 20, is going to be my Mai ...

By Andrew McLemoreSaturday, March 27th, 2010 -- 6:25 pm Hatred is getting a lot of press this week as reports of violent harassment against Congressional Democrats continue to surface. It began last weekend with Tea Party activists shouting racist and bigoted comments at House Democrats during the final push for health care reform. But new research shows the Tea Party may be the nice guys amid soaring numbers of hate groups. An "astonishing" 363 anti-government or "Patriot" groups appeared in ...

found to be collaborating with the enemy to desert his unit. So why the dog and pony show in the Rose Garden? Why indeed. More deception by the administration. Link ...

By Daniel TencerThursday, January 14th, 2010 -- 10:29 pm Banks poised to start fearmongering campaign about Obama's bailout fee If you still needed statistical proof that the folks on Wall Street have become entirely detached from reality in the wake of the massive taxpayer-funded bailout of their colossal mistakes, here it is. The 38 largest financial institutions on Wall Street will pay out a total of $145.85 billion in compensation for 2009, an 18 percent increase over 2008 and "sligh ...

HOST: Plenty of pundits, Rob, are suggesting that GOP lawmakers might be dragging their heels when it comes to trying to turn it around in fears that it might actually help the president. Are you buying that? GRAY: Well, I’m not buying that they’re dragging their heels. I am buying that they’re rooting against the economy somewhat because they think that the short-term pain of, you know, the next four months is much better than having additional four years of pain unde ...

Just wanted to share some good news. If you applied for a loan modification and were refused one and/or were foreclosed on (or threatened with foreclosure) in 2009 or 2010 you are more than likely getting some restitution from your lender, anywhere from $500 to $125,000, depending on the circumstance. As part of the Independent Foreclosure Review, payments will start to be sent out on April 12th. Go to http://www.occ.gov/topics/consumer-protection/foreclosure-prevention/correcting-for ...

$23 billion could send 460,000 to Harvard, buy insurance for 1.7 million families" Here we go again! http://rawstory.com/2009/10/goldman-sachs-2009-bonuses-to-double-2008s-23-billion-could-buy-115-million-iphones-or-send-460000-to-harvard/ ...

By John ByrneFriday, February 12th, 2010 -- 9:45 am If no health care overhaul passes Congress, health insurers may be in for a windfall -- and one far larger that most Americans probably realize. According to a study by a pro-health reform group published Thursday, the nation's largest five health insurance companies posted a 56 percent gain in 2009 profits over 2008. The insurers including Wellpoint, UnitedHealth, Cigna, Aetna and Humana, which cover the majority of Americans with insur ...

...being President isn't supposed to be a game you play. ...

the country’s 45th president, outgoing President Barack Obama will be in attendance to witness the peaceful transition of power. The last time power was transferred, the 2009 inauguration of Obama, the tone turned ugly when then outgoing President, George W. Bush, was introduced to the crowd and was met with loud, sustained booing. Even liberal MSNBC found the booing of Bush to be distasteful. Commentator Chris Matthews implored attendees, “Don’t do it,” as the chorus of boos start ...

WASHINGTON — Stop whining, Mr. President. And stop whiffing. Don’t whinge off the record with columnists and definitely don’t do it at a press conference with another world leader. It is disorienting to everybody, here at home and around the world. Link: http://www.nytimes.com/2014/04/30/opinion/dowd-is-barry-whiffing.html?hp&rref=opinion&_r=0 ...

Dave Barry Reviews 2009

Very funny! - Thanks for sharing

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