A community of 30,000 US Transcriptionist serving Medical Transcription Industry

completely stressed out

Posted: Nov 14, 2011

Today mortgage is officially late. I didn't sleep last night and usually sleep every other night due to exhaustion from not sleeping the night before. I lost my MT job almost two years ago due to tendoninitis/carpal tunnel, lost my worker's comp case and now relying on DH's salary of 13 bucks an hour. I originally bought this house based on my 42K salary per year. I worked for five years in complete agony most days from the pain and it got to the point my fingers and wrists were so swollen I could not even touch the keyboard nor could I do other things like get dressed, cook, or even change the channel on the T.V.

I am in school full time to be a drug and alcohol counselor (ha! haven't left my house to work in 16 years, like I will be successful at this with my social anxiety) and have been supplementing my husband's 16k per year salary with refund checks of exactly 6000 per year from student loans. I try to put the knowledge of how deeply in debt i'm falling in the back of my mind (maybe another reason for lack of sleep?)

I haven't been eating, my migraine headaches are so bad I lose my eyesight beforehand now, I'm angry and short-tempered and cannot sleep. Cannot afford to go out with friends and I have nothing really to enjoy in life. I used to enjoy cooking but we cannot afford meals with a lot of ingredients. Our bills are around 2400 a month (you do the math).

So this is the first time I have not paid mortgage on time. I have prayed, have read my Bible and keep God close to me but I have no peace. My anxiety eats me up, my stomach is a ball of acid. My mind is constantly going.

Just needed to vent. Anyone in the same sinking boat? Bring a cup to scoop out the water with me and share!

;

Stressed out - Me

[ In Reply To ..]
I'm so sorry to hear of your troubles. Let me tell you something you might not want to hear, though. The only thing that really matters in this life are your loved ones. If you lose your house, it's bad, I know. But it's only a house. We can't afford Jack Shyte, either, no good cooking anymore and everything else you mentioned and then something happened to put it all in perspective for me. My father started dying of cancer. All of that means nothing anymore. We owe the IRS.. I don't care. It will get handled one way or another, and yours will, too. I promise you. Try to enjoy those you love and spending time with them. I know it sucks not to be able to go out. We can't go out anymore either. Times are very hard these days for lots of people, and I hope they get better, but I don't see it happening anytime soon. The divide is getting worse between the haves and the have nots. I don't care anymore. Carpal tunnel is awful and painful, I know.

Try not to worry so much. Again, it will all work out, and I know how hard it is to stop stressing. I'm a wreck, too, but I'm trying my best to put it all in perspective since my dad got so sick. And it's pretty much in perspective, my friend. Good luck to you.

Been there too - sm

[ In Reply To ..]
I agree with the above poster about keeping it in perspective. Also, figure out what you CAN control and focus on that. If you can't control it, try not to worry about it. I know that's easier said than done.

I'm a single mom and in spring of 2010 I left my office job to work for a smaller MTSO. Unfortunately, she fell into the group that didn't care about her ICs. We were literally begging her for work and she was hiring daily. I ended up filing for bankruptcy but was able to keep the house. My mom had to buy the Christmas presents for the kids. That was the first time I'd ever had to ask for financial help.

Christmas morning my kids were very appreciative of their dollar store gifts. After they were finished opening them, they gave me one. It was a card thanking me for all the sacrifices I made for them and a gift card to buy me some clothes because I hadn't bought anything for myself in years. That was my wakeup call.

By then, I'd started working for a mid-sized MTSO and things were looking up until they switched to employee status and cut the pay. Then within a few months they changed platforms and switched to SR at the same time. For the first time ever I missed a mortgage payment and the bank started foreclosure proceedings. I was stressed beyond belief but knew that whatever happened, we would be okay because we had each other.

Things are still precarious financially but at the end of the day my kids have learned how to survive when the chips are down.

Hang in there. It does get better.

stressed out - sweetgirlsmom

[ In Reply To ..]
My sister and her husband just lost their house. Their lender went out of business and sold their mortgage to another company. Their payment went up $500 a month which they could not afford. They now rent a nice apartment the same size as their house and live in a nice neighborhood. Their payment is $1000 less a month than the house was and they have no maintenance costs. Now they are able to pay all their bills each month.

I lost my house and car after a divorce and a long illness when I could only work part-time for several years. I know how it feels to lose prosperity and property and security, and have no self-respect or peace of mind. My children moved in with their father because I could not provide for them. It hurt terribly, but I got through it.

I just lost two MT jobs because of arthritis in my hands. I can't type fast enough anymore to meet the 1200 daily line count. I've applied for 20 clerical jobs at local hospitals and I'm way overqualified for them all. With 32 years of MT experience they know I'm in my 50's and I have not been called. By the time I could complete training for a new occupation, I will be eligible for Social Security. There's nothing to do but wait.

I now live in my daughter's house and I'm thankful that we get along well. I don't have a car anymore, but I'm thankful for the roof over my head and food to eat. I babysit a few hours a week for some extra cash, but don't have enough money for the things I want. But I have everything that I really need and the love and support of my kids. I'm at home and I'm really happy.

Life changes for all of us. When the hardships come, there is always something to be thankful for. Be thankful for your family and marriage. Be thankful for your husband's job. Be thankful for the strength to meet whatever challenges will come. Be thankful for the comfort and encouragement that comes from family and friends.

A house is just a building. Your family is your home.

I agree with Sweetgirl - alias

[ In Reply To ..]
Be thankful to God every day for what you do have, and give the rest to Him to handle. Only He knows what is in store in the future anyway, trust Him to get you there with all that you need. It may not be all that you want, but it is enough. Have faith!

Stressed out - MTC

[ In Reply To ..]
Hang in there. You might feel as if your the only person going through this, but really your not alone. I feel as if I just had a mental meltdown from all the worry, let alone depression taking over. I felt as if I was moving right along until my sons best friend committed suicide(15 years old). A friend that has cancer was in remission, only to find out his cancer has come back. Another person I hold near and dear to my heart died in his sleep leaving an 8-year-old boy to be cared for by others. All of this happened in the past week, so trust me when I say make the most of what you can. This weighed heavy on my heart to the point I have become depressed. I too have bills I cannot pay. I have learned to make the most of the small things, keep family and friends close by, and trust in GOD. I think of all the burdens on my shoulders and think how heavy they are, but nothing compared to what GOD has on his. Just pray and talk to friends because it will help you in the tough times. I know that doesn't pay the bills, but it will give you the motivation to keep putting one foot in front of the other. Keep your head up. Best wishes to you and sending prayers your way.

stressed out - migraine survivor

[ In Reply To ..]
Have been there with the pain that accompanies our profession. Some days I would just get a heating pad and go to bed, I couldn't stand it, nor the migraines on one side of my head which nobody else seemed to understand. I am not going to pontificate about some have it worse, etc. I just want to tell you I understand your pain. I could write a novel about what happened to me when I took a "job" at a hospital to get away from the 12 hr. days transcribing self-employed. I learned a new word, "frienemies" - they hated me and told me to "slow down." Sometimes the only true friend you can depend on is YOU, and you are the hero of your own story. I do believe in God and ask for His help, but I know He expects me not to fall apart and get stronger and be healthy. If you have your health back, anything can happen, so please concentrate on your own health and if you believe so, pray. I do hope things get better for you because your pain is real and we know how you're hurting, you're not alone. Please don't give up, even if you have to move, you still have a beautiful mind and a willing heart. You proved it by coming on this board and expressing yourself. Please feel better, some of us do care. I also hope you find a medical doctor who can help you address your pain. Microwaveable heat pads do help some with the pain and as for the migraines, it takes time to "fit" the right meds for you and perhaps keep a notebook as to which foods, etc. may trigger an attack (chocolate and smoke did a number on me). Thinking of you and wish you well soon. Don't take the holidays too seriously, they'll be around again next year for sure. Take care of yourself and be a little selfish if you have to. Put yourself first for a change. The rest will fix itself, if you feel well enough to take on the day.

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