SillyGirl, Anon, Midi

This month on this forum we have read 3 stories from our sisters whose lives are being turned upside down by infidelity (and even stories of women who wish they were sister wives.)  I have to admit, my first instinct is to tell these sisters of ours to kick these dog men out of their lives and suck it up and get over them, that they deserve better than this, that no one should ever break our hearts like this. 

Then this weekend my little sister came home and told the family that her husband was having an affair.  She cried and was so broken and hurt that we all cried with her.  All she wants is for everything to be "the same" even though she admits it never will be, that he has forever changed in her eyes.  When asked the inevitable "what do you want to do" question, she says she wants to fight for her marriage and her home.  That she them to fix it all.

Armed with that, I went to talk to BIL and he admitted wrongdoing and like Midi's man cried and wailed and begged me to forgive him.  It was horrible and yet I believe he is sorry.  (SURE, maybe sorry he got caught, maybe though he is genuinelly sorry he hurt my sister).  I see him in a different light now, but he's agreed to everything we've suggested, time part WITHOUT interference from the women who he is involved with, counseling as individuals and as a couple.  He has a drinking problem and also likes to smoke weed, so will go to get help for that.  (it is no surprise that the other women is also a drinker, AND she is also married and has 3 little kids.  Guess where she works... at a bar!)

Like Midi's man also, he came before the whole family and confessed and apologized and even talked man to man with our dad, who sternly treatened that he'd be "cut off" from our family should be not abide by her wishes and promise to get help.

They are actually going to be moving closer to the family next week as dad has accommodations for both, a little apartment for sis and a rental home for BIL.  He will work for my dad and remove himself from the influence of his friends and (hopefully) contact with the other woman. 

What I guess I want to say is that as a family we are going to respect her wishes at this point to try to help them mend their fences as much as we can.  Who knows what tomorrow will bring, but as a family and especially as her big sis, I want to do this.  BIL has humbled himself to us and for what it's worth, I believe he will change.  I believe this because my parents, married for 45+ years now, had the same thing happen to them when they were young, and with the help of their families also, were able to forgive each other and move on with their life, and have been a loving, silly loving, hand holding, public kissing, crazy in love couple ever since.  We are a big family, 4 girls 5 boys, all married and this has only happened to little sis.  None of us have substance problems.    We all otherwise are in strong, very family oriented relationships, and I believe this lays a strong foundation for us to be able to help our sis. 

I hope Anon, sillygirl and midi really do work it out.  Today I am feeling inspired and positive that change will come. 

It saddens me to read that so many families are in trouble.  I wonder if it's something in the air?  (the radiation? ha)  I sat alone with my husband this morning and we both told each other how much we love each other, how lost we'd be without each other.  He told me that under no circumstances would he ever hurt me and I told him the same.  It felt so good we both cried.  It was cleansing and beautiful.  so I am "radiating" love and good faith out to all.  God Bless.