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Reaching out to Midi

Posted: Apr 2, 2011

Wondering how you are doing. Been thinking about you and praying for you. Hope all is settling down and you are getting to a point that you can start working through some of the problems. Hope all is getting better and things work out. My throughts are with you.

;

re: cll - Midi

[ In Reply To ..]
I want to thank you for thinking of me, to all who sent the support and well wishes. It's been difficult, but we are going to counseling and are separated right now, he's rented a studio apartment. The long-term goal is reconciliation, I just don't know if I can get there right now. I know a lot of you won't understand or agree with me, but after this many years invested in each other we feel that have to try.

I did not intend to start a word war here, so I apologize for that.

I haven't been doing anything much, working, sleeping a lot so I forced myself to start a veggie garden to keep me busy. Threw out all the booze, getting drunk was getting too easy.

We found out that the "other woman" is (or was, don't know right now) in another supposedly steady relationship. She's causing trouble, telling DH that her boyfriend is "looking for him". (I told him that's what he gets, right?) Now we're wondering if indeed there is a possibility this is not his baby, but have to wait it out. Told him his bimbo better not even think about bring trouble to my home or else.

Still have a lawyer. I've got the house and some money in my name now.

I am still very hurt and not ready to have him back in the house. He respects that, but now every night I go to sleep I am haunted thinking he's with her... makes me sick in my stomach.

Crazy huh, Can't stand to have him here, can't stand thinking of him somewhere else.

Again, I didn't mean to have you all fighting about my situation. I respect each and everyone who took the time to give their own opinion and suggestions.

No one has to reply back, just wanted to say Thank you all very, very much.

It sounds like you are at least doing a little bit better - cindy

[ In Reply To ..]
I glad that you are seeking counceling. That is important for you to move on whatever direction you want to go. I understands not wanting to throw away something that you invested so much time into. With therapy, you will eventually figure out what is right and what is wrong for you and you need to follow your intuition.

Gad you took up a hobby. Veggie garden will definitely keep you busy and help you out with the rising prices of groceries. Glad you got rid of the alcohol, that never helps after the first day or two.

Just remember, if you need to talk, we are here. Sounds like many have been through the same or similar situation as you, so hang in there and take care of you.

It's me - Silly Girl - Silly Girl

[ In Reply To ..]
I know exactly what you mean and we've had the same online friends thinking of us and saying prayers - I appreciate that.

Mine is not happy with what's in the decree right now so we go back and forth on him saying he will sign and then he doesn't. I told him that since he didn't give me a chance to fight for my marriage that I was going to fight for this divorce to make sure our son and myself are taken care of. His gf (i say that VERY lightly and definitely nicer than the other terms i have called her) lives a few hours away so the weekends are hardest on me as, like yourself, i wonder if he's with her, what he's doing with her, etc. i'm trying VERY hard for our son's sake - not to hate him at this very minute but it's hard knowing that at 11 years of marriage he threw it all away for a piece of ---!

Today has been one of my harder days and yes, them margaritas tend to taste oh so wonderful when you're sick of crying and sick of being mad - i have to watch myself. Can't remember the last time i had a full night's sleep either since "she" haunts my dreams every night.

We women are stronger than men give us credit for and it's a long hard climb up to the top of the mountain - but once we get over the hurt, pain and exhaustion to get up there - I think the view will be spectacular - and that's what i'm counting on!!

re: Silly Girl and Midi - Melba Toast

[ In Reply To ..]
You both have to take the baby steps to recovering from broken hearts. Who knows what the future holds, but in the here and now, you can't give these other women or this situation power to beat you down! We're here for you, virtually yes, but here none the less.

Remember, what happened has absolutely nothing to do with YOU as a person. You are both beautiful, strong, loving women who gave their hearts and souls to someone who betrayed you. That's on them. You didn't push them into the arms of the other women, you didn't do ANYTHING. Those men made a choice and sadly, it broke your hearts.

It really struck a chord in our hearts. With some of us it hit very close to home, or brought up memories. Others were able to reflect on their lives and count their blessings that they have strong, solid marriages or relationships, so that's what the word wars were about. You don't need to apologize. Its a very sensitive subject.

Both of you keep doing what your doing and eventually, some day you'll be better and happy again, regardless of whether you're with your man or not.

Silly, you take special care of that child and allow him to see his dad, don't say anything bad about his dad ever, and someday when he's bigger, he'll see the truth without you ever having to have said an ugly word about his dad.

{{{{{BIG HUGS}}}}}

On a closing note: Be careful with the booze, it's a fine line you'll walk self "medicating". Try yoga or walking... I care about your mental health as well as physical health.

~Melba

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