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HUGE thank you

Posted: Apr 16, 2012

Holy cow!!!! Had my first discussion w/ a lawyer today and I'm flabbergasted at the things I didn't take into consideration. The soon-to-be-ex most definitely isn't going to love, but he'd better be grateful that I'm not asking for spousal support (he makes 3x more than I do now- gotta love being an MT). Y'all rocked w/ the advice to at least talk to a lawyer. I like this guy. He's no BS, shoots from the hip, and says I can decline anything he suggests but that I've retained him and he's working for me in my best interest. I have 3 pages of notes from a 20-minute conversation.

Thank you sincerely from the bottom of my broken, yet hopefully not too broke, heart.

;

Good for you - sm

[ In Reply To ..]
I am happy you found a lawyer and will keep you in my thoughts.

Do not worry that your husband is unhappy about this. Chances are very good that he knew exactly what he was doing. I won't say that he intended to take advantage of you, but I think he knows more than he let on. Nearly everyone does. You know that he talked about this with his buddies and maybe even his own lawyer.

If you ended up working at home or even remaining in MT in order to help his career or to enable him to keep his 3x$ job, some support might be in order. Perhaps enough to help you complete a 2-year nursing program.

What goals and aspirations did you suppress while married to him? Where would you be now if you had not been married? Women defer a lot of their lives to spouses, much of it "expected" or "invisible." What did you let slip away because it would have made him feel less important? Would you be an RN or MSN or nurse practitioner, or an RHIA, or a college graduate, or a lawyer if you had not been married? I am not sure that you should ignore that when deciding not to ask for support.

Uncontested- sm - divorced x 2

[ In Reply To ..]
I am so glad you took everyone's advice and went for a consultation with an attorney. I am sure he pointed out and explained things much clearer than we could since he was focusing on your particular situation. Hang in there and maybe you should consider going back to school, maybe next fall and finding something that will pay your more than MT does these days.

Do come back and let us know how things are going for you.

Irony maybe, or karma? - Uncontested OP

[ In Reply To ..]
I had a Depo shot scheduled for tomorrow after work, and well, since I don't need it, I called and canceled. A friend who is a real estate broker emailed about 20 minutes later and wants me to go tomorrow to see 2 houses for sale in my price range. Can well happy dance for a second and not beat me down w/ any words like "stupid, stinky, and lazy?" Pretty please?

Yay, you! Good luck! - nm

[ In Reply To ..]
:-)

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