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I am at the end of my rope and desperately need prayers please
Posted: Jul 1, 2015
So I lost my son to my evil ex (very long story) last October. I have PTSD, which has been exacerbated by all the garbage my ex has done. I also have MDD and panic disorder with agoraphobia. I have applied for disability and am now on my fourth app. I have 75 cents in the bank and am scared sick. I cannot eat nor sleep. I tell people I will be homeless, but I have 5 cats I cannot abandon. I also have family heirlooms I cannot bear to part with. I am not sure what to do. I am scared sick to be homeless, but this is what happens to people like me who have aboslutely no one to depend on. I had a daughter I asked to help and she moved out. 
I have absolutely no one at all. I have thought of just getting in my car and driving as far as my car will take me, but it is now messing up. When I started fighting for my son last September, I got a loan at the bank and used my car for collateral. Silly me thought since I am not abusive, or a druggie or alcoholic like my ex, I would win. I did not. The judge is my ex's BFF apparently. The system stinks!! Anyway, I decided to go ahead and apply for another MT job, but if I get one and there is no work, I still have to pay my abusive ex child support if I can get a job. He has stolen already thousands of dollars from me and my kids. I just do not know where to turn. I have been praying for months (10 years since my ex started pulling his garbage) and nothing has happened. I am so ready to give up. I already signed myself in due to the depression. I could go back, but no one will take care of my fur babies. I am desperate and did a GoFundMe, even though I knew I would get called names and I did. People have no clue how hard it is to be in this position. I posted on the SSA page that I will be homeless because people wait for hearings and approvals and with no one to help them they have no choice. I cry all day every day. Anyway, I am begging for prayers I get a job I guess. I hate giving that horrid ex CS but if I do not get an MT job, I will be homeless for sure. Dear God why has thou forsaken me?!?!?!??! Thank you all!
Hi - me
[ In Reply To ..]First... BREATHE slowly & calm down. I went into a total rage when my ex did a similar number on me. Without going into that long story, this was the end result. He wanted child support (after he got my kids), but I got out of it because I told him I'd sue for all the support he owed me. We then agreed that nobody would pay. He wouldn't owe me & I wouldn't owe him. After less than 2 years, he dropped off one kid at my doorstep without even staying long enough to make sure anyone was home. I was, but that's beside the point. Is there a shelter in your area? I'm guessing they don't take pets, but in your neighborhood, is there a pet foster care? There's one in my area not far from where I live. She's terrific. She takes in dogs. I babysit people's cats (for 3 households) but not here at home because my cat would go ballistic. You have to get your panic under control or you won't do anybody any good at all. Call social services & find out what they can offer. Maybe something, maybe nothing, but if you don't ask, you'll never know. Talk to a lawyer about whether you can reduce any child support you have to pay. If your ex owes you, perhaps you can simply have your support "voided" each month by deducting that amount from what he owes. If nothing else, tell them that you don't make enough to cover it. Reducing it might be allowed. I hope things get better. There's not much worse than losing all hope. God didn't leave you. Satan is messing with you.
The previous poster offered some good tips - sm
[ In Reply To ..]I'm praying for you as well. The other poster said that God has not abandoned you, but that Satan is messing with you. That sounds right. It's easy to trust God when everything is going well. Our faith is challenged and strengthened, though, in our darkest hours. Only God can do the impossible. He DOES do the impossible, and he does love you.
Please follow up on some of the other poster's suggestions, and do not believe the lie that God has abandoned you.
To EK, who sent me an email - not the OP
[ In Reply To ..]EK, I believe you meant to send that email to the OP, but you sent it to me (one of the responders to the OP) instead. God bless you for the encouragement you offered her. It is comforting when someone who has gone through a trial similar to ours lets us know how God brought them through the ordeal. Now don't forget to resend to the OP! :)
Please don't give up - Easy for me to say, I know
[ In Reply To ..]Your story is heartbreaking, I will pray for you. For the fur babies, call local rescue groups, maybe someone will foster them or they may have other ideas. Have you checked with local churches, not just one or two but as many as you can. It may sound ridiculous but you could always give YouTube a shot, who knows, all sorts of things go viral these days, maybe a video highlighting the problems facing people waiting months to get disability would too. You could even call local TV news stations and ask if they would do a story on the subject. Try Googling for veterinary assistance programs, you may find something there. I wish I had more to offer. You're more than welcome to email me if you'd like.
Prayers - Rusty
[ In Reply To ..]Your story breaks my heart! I feared when we were children that we would be homeless too, and when my brother became an alcoholic, I was sure he would be. Fortunately, there are ways to help you. First of all, post your GFM account and that way all us transcriptionists (20,000 according to MT Stars) can help you. Like the above poster said, contact local churches, especially ones with food pantries and outreach programs. It may take a few to call, but worth it, as God HAS NOT forskanen you, the devil has come home to roost and you have to get rid of him. Hit your knees and pray. Don't beg, God knows your ills. He will answer you, maybe not in the timeframe you want, but He will answer. Talk to Him, tell Him your fears, concerns, and then leave it be, it will be His then. Don't worry about it anymore, He will help you. some animal shelters/rescues can help with food for your furbabies, call them. Explain to them. As for you ex, talk to a lawyer, get that crap taken care of, and heal yourself and then can you help your children. Email me if you want, I might be able to help more, and if you live close to me, I can certainly help, and will. I don't always check it daily, but weekly at least. Worth a shot. I will pray for you, and I am confident things will start turning around for you. Have faith in Him and He will answer. Hugs to you, EMAIL ME.
Well I put up my GoFundMe and someone took that down. I want them to know - sm
[ In Reply To ..]that was my absolute LAST hope!! How could you do that to me?!?!?!?!? Thanks a LOT
I also said some other things along the lines of - sm
[ In Reply To ..]thank you to everyone, but I know who took down my GoFundMe is the same troll who has been after me for years. Dunno what her problem is but this is my LAST POST HERE!!!!!!!!
Only you and the moderator can take down a post. - sm
[ In Reply To ..]The mod will only do it if the post violates a board policy. You will have received an email explaining why.
No email. It must have been a mod (the one who has been after me - sm
[ In Reply To ..]for years for whatever reason) because it was not me. As I said, that was my last hope :(
A guy I know ... - sm
[ In Reply To ..]A guy I know makes his living by posting hard luck stories on boards like this. He begins by developing a character, who then has little problems, develops a health issue, other issues, then is facing homelessness, antagonism from SS and disability, will lose his beloved pets, car broken down, can't win ... and the donations roll in.
On some boards, he is a starving college student. On others, homebound mother with disabled child or dutiful daughter taking care of elderly mother. Most of them get cancer at some point or the other.
He has p.o. boxes set up for them and even started taking PayPal. He has a business on EBay to sell the donated items people send him. When he is a college music student who has to sell his instruments to pay for cancer treatments people send him violins, flutes, and everything else. Then his bike is stolen and they ship him bicycles.
He can keep the game going for years, he says, because people just want to be charitable. He thinks he provides a public service.
Not saying that is you, of course. It is just something you should consider as a possible reason the mods might be after you.
That would ALMOST make sense had it not been - sm
[ In Reply To ..]SOMEONE ELSE who suggested I put it up. I was NOT going to!!!!!!!!
Same thing he would say. - sm
[ In Reply To ..]That is exactly what he would say. He was never responsible for anything he did. When the mods started getting suspicious or members complained, he would say he only did what people suggested.
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