and a tiny sand crab with sunglasses on sat down - next to me and said...

S'up. Wann do belly shots? - nm

I was like "what the heck are belly shots?" - nm

and he goes "first we need a big fat belly... - yours is perfect"

Then I slapped the Cr*p otta that crab and - nm

polished off my Margarita - with gusto

Then a bigger crab with bigger sunglasses - nm

said kiss me and I will turn into - the man of your dreams.

what a dilemma that was - because

I am terrified of men with crabs... - yuck

But I like crabs so I headed to Joe's Crab Shack - nm

where Joe Crab himself was at the door - with his monster claw clutching his

stomach and chanting, the butter is too rich - nm

so freaked out by rich butter, I left the crab shack - nm

and went to the Margarita belly shot bar next door. - nm

where I got so wasted I - nm

started playing bongo belly on every - nm

saw the man of my dreams and he had the biggest - nm

bongo belly with the hairiest - nm

wife - nm

The hair kinda covered the tattoos - nm

But she looked just lovely wearing her - nm

her maternity wedding dress (strapless of course) - nm

and she told me she was going to give birth to - nm

a litter of kittens - nm

I said to myself, "Well, that explains the... - nm

smell... - and the attitude

so wasted and wanting to leave the bar, - nm

I headed back to the beach. - nm

and the man of my dreams ran after me shouting - nm

How about Filet Mignon instead of crabs? - nm

and become a home wrecker and stepmother to a litter of - kittens?

Been there, done that - what else you got?

Then we went back to the beach and.... - nm