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please forgive me in advance if I come across like a wet noodle

Posted: Mar 20, 2016

How do you get someone to get their belongings out of your house without legal repercussions??

Backstory: Ex-H and I divorced September 2015. He "let" me have the house, which I bought in 2008 but when I refinanced in 2014 he added his name. He said something to the effect that he legally had so many days to have his things out of the house. Fine by me, I didn't want to cause waves. He did take some things out but left a lot. Well we ended up reconciling in October. He slowly but surely moved more and more of his junk back into my house and started staying here and moved back in without my blessing as it is close to his job. Of note: When I say junk I mean this 35 year old man has toys from his childhood and yes that includes stuffed animals. Well i'm pretty sure you can predict where this is going. This has built up resentment. After all he's got it made, he divorced me, he lives here and doesn't have to pay bills. By March 2016 i'm ready for him to be out again. Also drinking, late nights, etc. I thought he was finally a grown up but of course I was wrong. Yep i'm a sterotype weak woman that I never thought I would be. We have children and I really just don't want them to be traumatized or forced to chose sides.

So here's my current delima. I have given him until July to find another place. That time frame being I am doing an internship and working full time and we agreed he could live here to help with the children while i'm working over 60 hours a week. But I feel like he will still leave his belongings here, stacked to the ceiling in my garage, on my deck, under my deck, etc. even after July. Do I have the legal right to just set these things outside and say to hel* with you? Do I have to give him written notice? Funny when I type all of this I sound like such an idiot but i'm actually highly educated but know nothing of property law. I'm in the health care field/social services and I know I should stand up for myself or he will just drag it out. I just really hate confrontation and conflict, had to deal with enough of that as a child. As far as the legal aspect, I know I can always consult my attorney for advice but I think it would sound worse out loud than typed here. Plus is wife is a personal friend and my hairdresser!

Don't be too hard on me and thanks in advance for listening.

;

not an idiot - ok

[ In Reply To ..]
You're not an idiot to want to believe things are better this time. Sadly, it's not better. I don't know the law, so maybe someone else will write in on that, but I do have an idea. Put it in writing and both of you sign it. You want him to move by "x" date and at the same time his stuff is also to be gone by that same "x" date. Make it so clear that he can't possibly misunderstand the timing. Then you both sign and date it, each keeps a copy. Might also add a note that if his things are not removed by that date, you may consider these things yours to do with however you want. He needs to understand that also or it might not happen.

No option but to consult an attorney unless you are eligible - for free legal services. SM

[ In Reply To ..]
Personally, I think if his name is on the house, you can't do much, but you really have to consult an attorney in your state. None of us can tell you what to do.

If you throw his stuff in the yard and it gets damaged or stolen, he possibly could sue you as a civil matter.

You leave his stuff there, you could charge him rent/storage fee and then play H trying to get it paid.

You can live with the aggravation.

Really need to consult an attorney.

No he signed a quit claim on the house in 2015 - his name is not on the mortgage

[ In Reply To ..]
x

Use storage - Anonymous

[ In Reply To ..]
Put his stuff in a storage unit and send him the bill. He will come and get it when he finds out he has to pay for it.

good idea but I wish I could post a picture on here - for you

[ In Reply To ..]
it's just too much. I am small and have back injuries. there is no way I could put all of that into my car and move it. Like I said it is literally wall to wall and to the ceiling in my garage.

It's this simple - sm

[ In Reply To ..]
Tell him that by July "X" you need the stuff gone or you will have it removed.

If this will interfere with his childcare, you don't need that kind of childcare. If you can wait till after your childcare needs are taken care of, all the better.

His wife being your personal friend and hairdresser has nothing to do with this logistical exercise, and only reaffirms his tie to her and not you.

His stuff - Backwoods Typist

[ In Reply To ..]
If he has until July to get out, that should include his stuff....every. single. bit. No questions asked. Make an agreement as a previous poster said, making a final date for all his chit to be out, a signed copy for both of you. Anything left after that date is considered yours and yours to dispose of how you wish. Yard sale, give to the Goodwill/Salvation Army...whatever you have to do to get his stuff out of the house.

By the way, you are not dumb/stupid/a wet noodle for thinking things would be different this time. We do strange things when it comes to matters of the heart. Sometimes people do change, but sometimes its too late when they finally do. By then, our hearts and minds have changed. We have all done something we shouldnt have out of love and you are no different. Whats important is that you know what is best for you now and you are moving forward to make it reality. Proud of you for that.

I think Judge Judy says you just have to give them a reasonable amt of - time, then it is considered abandoned. SM

[ In Reply To ..]
I think a month is long enough, but just to be on the safe side, you could give him 2 months. I also think you could put an ad in local paper telling him to come get his stuff or by ??/??/?? it will be put on the curb for the garbage man.

You're the boss, applesauce. Judge Judy rules

Put it in writing - Certified, if you want

[ In Reply To ..]
You don't have to be admitted to the bar to take care of this, & no need for a tome.

State a deadline, & that any & all items, including but not limited to X, Y & Z not removed by that date will be disposed of. Let him figure out what "disposed of" means.

Did I understand what you wrote at the end? - sm

[ In Reply To ..]
It looks like you wrote that his wife is a personal friend and your hairdresser? Did he get married to someone else after you guys got divorced? If so, why is he not living with her? Did I misunderstand?

Other posters gave very good advice. You can get him and his stuff out. Glad you reached out for help about this.

The wife of my lawyer is a friend and hairdresser - see inside

[ In Reply To ..]
Sorry for the confusion.

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