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Riding with a driver who speeds and texts
Posted: Dec 8, 2014
Whew! Yesterday I rode with one of my friends to an event in a town about 45 miles away. I've been her friend for many years but have never been a passenger in her SUV until yesterday. I can guarantee that I won't be riding in her vehicle again.
We were on the interstate. She was tailing a semi and was sandwiched in between 3 semis: One in front, one in back, and one on the right. We were in the passing lane. It seemed that we were almost sitting in the back of the semi at several points. I was feeling really, really unsafe. I don't like to be rude, but I took a chance and told her that I was feeling unsafe being sandiwiched in-between 3 trucks that if the truck in front of us slammed on his breaks, we'd be dead. She was okay about my comment and did slow down just enough to allow maybe one car length between the front in truck and us.
I was starting to feel a little more comfortable, as we finally (thank you, God) got around the truck and were on the right side of the road. However, she then whipped out her I-phone and proceeded to type and send text messages while driving at a pace of well over 75 mph. I didn't want to sound like a Debbie Downer, but really? Really? Texting while driving and speeding? Texting while driving at ANY speed is against the law, and with good reason! I couldn't keep my concern to myself. I said "Please don't text while you're driving." She said she does it all the time and she's fine. I wasn't about to argue with her and tell her that I could see her eyes on the I-phone instead of the road.
In the future, if any of us are in a similar situation, what's a good way to handle this very dangerous situation?
;
What I Do - see msg
[ In Reply To ..]What I do now is ask if they text while they drive. If the answer is yes, then I tell them I will only go with them if they promise not to do that.
You have to ask ahead of time. I found out a friend of ours texts all the time while driving--his wife told us in front of him. I have never driven with him, but I did pipe up and said, "I won't ever get in a car with you if you do that." Interestingly, I saw him driving the other day. I was slightly behind him in another lane, and gosh darn, there he was with his eyes barely making contact with the road.
People think it can't happen to them.
Anyway, be proactive before you get in a car with anyone whose habits you aren't sure of. Seems like we shouldn't have to do that---I always thought it was a no-brainer---but we have to ask.
I'll ask next time. - OP
[ In Reply To ..]Thanks for that excellent advice. I'll be sure in the future, if I'm riding in someone else's car, to ask if they text while driving. Even if it's a friend, I'll ask. I won't be shy about saying that I won't be riding with them if they text while driving.
Why do people do that? Talking on the cell phone is distracting enough, but texting?
Yes, Do Not Be Shy - see msg
[ In Reply To ..]Yup, ask while you're actually making the plans so there are no misunderstandings.
You could even make a game of it by lightheartedly saying: "You're not one of those nutty people who texts and drives, are you?!!
They'd feel quite foolish texting while driving after that.....
To Yes, Do Not Be Shy - OP
[ In Reply To ..]You have an excellent suggestion! Ask on the phone before making any arrangements to ride with someone else. And do it in a lighthearted way. That is so brilliant!
how about i love you, so and so, but - you drive like a demon
[ In Reply To ..]say, I love u _____ (insert name) you know I do, but you drive like a demon, and text like a fool...won't drive with you, no, no can do, it's my one and only steadfast rule...no offense, sistah...and I hope we cool, but drive with you? I think I'll hail a mule.
Haaaa!!! I love it! - OP
[ In Reply To ..]You should put that rhyme to music! It's cute AND practical! I absolutely love it. :)
:) - nm
[ In Reply To ..]:)
I do the driving. - sm
[ In Reply To ..]I don't ride in other people's cars. Either somebody smoked in it, or they have smelly dogs, or it is moldy and smells like a hamster cage, or they have some kind of toxic animal-kennel air freshener, or they are unsafe drivers. Usually several of the above.
I simply provide an earnest explanation that I have to drive. If I don't drive, I will become car sick and vomit in the car. They don't argue.
Grow a pair and tell her you refuse to ride with her - again. SM
[ In Reply To ..]If you value your life, that's the answer. I'd never ride with someone like that again. Chances are if she "does it all the time" and believes she's fine, she won't stop if you ask her to.
Just say NO. It's really that simple.
highway travel - curious
[ In Reply To ..]Just wondering if there is anyone here who avoids the highway when traveling?
I don't need to grow a pair. How rude. - OP
[ In Reply To ..]I didn't ask what to do if SHE wants to drive again. Obviously, I will know better than to ride with her. I was asking in general for the future when someone asks me to ride in their car. I was asking for ideas of how to politely ask the driver beforehand about his/her texting while driving.
It never occurred to ask her before we left if she texts while driving and if she speeds. My other friends don't do that, so why should I have thought to ask this friend.
All the other posters have been kind and even humorous in their responses. You don't have to be snotty in yours.
I agree it was harsh but - x
[ In Reply To ..]I also see where that person is coming from. As soon as your friend who was driving you started texting while driving you should have "grown and pair" and told her to stop. I've done it, and to a very good friend of mine. First, I offered to do the texting for her. When she refused, I said, "hey, you may not realize it but you're weaving all over the road and your attention is more on your phone than on what's going on around us. You may have a death wish but I don't, so either stop texting or pull over and let me out." Yes, it turned into an argument. No, she doesn't agree with me. She thinks she's an excellent driver. Yes, we are still friends but she knows there is a boundary there and she knows to not text while I'm in the car. She has driven me since then and she has allowed me to do her texting for her when she drives now.
Next time... - OP
[ In Reply To ..]I did remark to my friend that it's illegal to text and drive. But I didn't offer to text for her. That would have been a good solution.
And I told her that I was very uneasy tailing the semi in front of us. But again, I could have been more forceful, I guess.
Believe me, I'll never ride with her again. I'll just drive myself or I won't go. Or I'll ride with someone I DO trust to get us there safely.
Although it sounded harsh - SM
[ In Reply To ..]I have to say I was shocked by your comment that you weren't about to argue with her, even though you saw her eyes on her phone and not the road. That sounds to me that you need to speak up. The whole issue of people on their phones while driving makes me furious. We share the road with others. It is horribly irresponsible and immature to be that arrogant and careless.
I just wanted to say I know exactly how you feel/felt. - jenn
[ In Reply To ..]Happened to me over the summer and it was a 3 hour drive including a very busy 6 lane or so highway. I was terrified. She even had kids in the back. I didn't know what to do. I tried getting her into conversation. Helped a little.
Thanks, Jenn. - OP
[ In Reply To ..]I imagine the hair was standing up on your head, Jenn! Well, I guarantee that in the future, before I get in to ANYONE'S car, no matter how good of friends we are, I'll ask if they text while driving. If they say yes or maybe, I'll drive myself or just not go. It is not worth getting killed just to attend a function.
You probably would not have had a - problem
[ In Reply To ..]reading her the riot act if she had whipped out a bottle of whiskey and started swilling. What's the difference?
Excellet Point - NM
[ In Reply To ..]xx
You could have stood up and refused to go - s/m
[ In Reply To ..]another mile with her in the car, or you could have had the discussion later . . . in ICU.
Tell her not only will she end up in prison, sm - texting drivers are dangerous
[ In Reply To ..]she may kill some innocent people by texting and driving.
Yes...it has happened. Young local driver sent to prison for texting and rear-ending a motorcycle stopped at a traffic light and killing the motorcyclist, a beloved middle-aged family man. And this was on a local road, not a highway, not going at excessive speed, just a very distracted texting idiot.
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