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Special need. Please see Prayer Requests Board
Posted: Aug 8, 2011
Thanks for reading this. I have a very good friend. Her name is Fran. Two weeks ago she was taken to the hospital by ambulance in the very early morning due to an infection from a cat scratch on her leg. She has been an insulin dependent diabetic since she was a young child.
While in the hospital she had chest pain. Cardiac cath revealed 95% blockage. Fran underwent triple bypass and was unable to breathe on her own when they attempted to extubate her after surgery. She remained on the ventilator in I.C.U. for five days after surgery. She wrote a note to the nurse stating "No Visitors." She has very limited family, and she didn't even want her two cousins to visit. They are extremely close to her.
Fran has continued to go downhill. She is now refusing to eat, refuses blood draws, etc. She is now in a regular room, but she had the nurse post a sign on her door that she will have no visitors. Today my niece, who has been her best friend for 25 years went to see her. Fran was in bed with her eyes closed, but not sleeping. My niece was only there for five minutes because Fran insisted she leave. She told my niece she simply wants to die. She is refusing all care at this point. It is breaking my heart. She has given up. Her attending ordered a psychiatric consultation for today. Why this was not done sooner is beyond me. Her cousin told me today there is now fluid on her lungs, signs of kidney failure, elevated white count and blisters on her legs. I knew with underlying IDDM she would have a prolonged recovery, but I never, ever expected this. I think it has all been too much for her both emotionally and physically.
Will you please hold her name up in prayer? We need her and know it will take a miracle to turn this around.
Thanks to everyone.
Christine
;
Apology to Moderator - Christine
[ In Reply To ..]I meant to post this on the PR Board instead of typing it here. Thanks.
I will keep your friend in my prayers - Just me
[ In Reply To ..]I am sorry for all the pain your friend is going through. I know how hard it is when someone you love so much, is hurting and refuses help to get better. I have had this in my life before too, only it was my dad and alcohol. He is drinking himself to death and will listen to no one. It can consume you if you let it. When I came to the conclusion that his fate is not in my hands and we cannot make anyone do anything that they do not want, as hard as that reality is, when you can find a way to let it go because we cannot control it and know that is their choice, you have to let it go or our very loved person in our life whoever it may be will, though not intentionally, take you down with them. What I have done, and I am not saying it is easy at all, because it is not it is heart wrenching, but I just told him I loved him and he has been a great father, I am here if he needs me, but if this is how he has decided to live or end his life there is nothing I can do about it but pray for him and I told him I just want to tell you I love you and you have been a great daddy, so that he knows and when he dies, I know I have done all I can and I will have peace. I am kind of rambling here, I hope I have made some sense. Just lover her, tell her that, even if she only lets you in the hospital room just long enough to say that to her and then you have to let it go and find peace do not let it tear the your life apart so that you are there and happy for your loved ones,,,that is a choice we can control....Prayers and love to you.
Thank you - Christine
[ In Reply To ..]Thank you so much for your reply, and for sharing your story. This is having a profound effect on those of us who are close to Fran. I was awake during the night many times, and when I was sleeping all I did was dream. Since she will not speak to any of us on the phone I wrote a letter yesterday telling her how important she is to all of us, and to please know we love her and need her. I feel so helpless. We cannot even speak to a nurse and get any information because we are not relatives. We rely on information from Fran's two cousins. Please continue to pray that she has peace. If she is determined to die, then I want her to go soon. To know she is in such a state is one of the most painful things I have ever gone through. I truly appreciate your prayers.
How old is your friend? What kinds of health problems - maggie
[ In Reply To ..]has she been experiencing in the last few years besides the diabetes? Has she been ill alot and/or in a lot of pain? I ask this because it could be that this is a depression that has set in due to the shock of all the things that have gone wrong in her hospitalization, or it could also just be that she is simply and truly ready to let go. However the fact that she wants no visitors and won't talk to anyone, it sounds like depression. Do you think if someone went to ask her why she wanted to die and really listened you might be able to discern whether it is depression or just tired of suffering and ready to go? If she is not depressed and is just ready to go then I would think she would be able to let friends and family visit to say goodbye, as hard as that can be. I will definitely keep you all in my prayers regardless, and keep my fingers crossed for you with the psych consult. People often tell strangers what they won't tell their own family and friends. Please keep us posted!
My friend - Christine
[ In Reply To ..]Fran is 62. She has PVD from the diabetes. She has DJD of the spine as well. She has no children. Her husband died several years ago after a prolonged battle with severe depression. He had a mental breakdown and died in a mental institution. Her parents died young, and her only sibling was a sister, who died in a head-on car crash. The driver fell asleep at the wheel. I think that was about 12 years ago. She was very close to her sister.
I found an article last night that says many patients become very depressed after a CABG procedure. The article says it may be due to the hypothermia necessary for the procedure, which can cause chemical imbalance in the brain, and just the emotional trauma from the procedure. She has been refusing phone calls as well as visits.
Fran has a cat, and her neighbor has been feeding her. I know how precious she is to Fran. She told her cousin on Sunday to "find a permanent home for Patches."
My niece just emailed me saying she will check with one of the cousins to see what happened yesterday with the psychiatrist. Thank you for your concern and prayers. We are just devastated by the events in the last two weeks. Life has not been easy for her. I think she is tired of fighting.
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