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Americans Excited To Celebrate Their Liberty While Confined - To Their Homes By The Government

Posted: Jul 4th, 2020 - 3:13 pm

Satire (?)

U.S.—Americans said they are excited to celebrate Independence Day this year while confined to their homes by government order.

"I sure am glad I live in a free country," said one man in California as he checked his phone to see what the current unilateral mandates by his governor would allow him to do this year. "Oh, good, nothing. Guess I'll play video games or something."

Guidelines released by governors across the country so far include the following:

Launching fireworks inside
Barbecuing inside
Watching fireworks on YouTube since they're probably illegal in your state anyway
Whispering "God Bless America" so as not to upset your neighbors
Wearing a mask while inside your home to muffle any patriotic songs or statements
Forgoing hamburgers and hot dogs in favor of more sustainable food products like bugs and tofu
Sitting in silence and contemplating how much you hate America
"Should be a really fun year!" said one man in Michigan. "My application for a permit to celebrate Independence Day was denied by Governor Whitmer, so I'll just be peeking out my window to see if I can catch a tantalizing glimpse of some illegal fireworks."

As he peeked out his window, sadly, the police were waiting in a bush outside and nabbed him for not wearing a mask.

LINK/URL: Americans Excited To Celebrate Their Liberty While Confined

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Americans Excited To Celebrate Their Liberty While Confined - To Their Homes By The Government (Views: 345, 2020-07-04, 3:13 pm)
- Forgoing hamburgers and hot dogs in favor of more - sustainable food products like (Views: 233, 2020-07-04, 3:45 pm)
  - My son tells me that as he reads comments online on - different sites, people are seeing (Views: 220, 2020-07-05, 6:02 am)
    - Dissent is not tolerated. I swear, The Crucible, has now been - fully explained as to how it took hold (Views: 228, 2020-07-05, 6:56 am)
    - My son thinks have his generation has been brainwashed - by what they were taught in school. (Views: 218, 2020-07-05, 12:38 pm)
      - half not have - correction (Views: 223, 2020-07-05, 12:39 pm)
  - Democrats want to increase the fear to push vote by - mail. (Views: 208, 2020-07-05, 6:07 am)
- Did you forget there is a worldwide pandemic? - . (Views: 241, 2020-07-04, 5:06 pm)
  - But it's was okay when the rioters and looters were - destroying property? Common (Views: 216, 2020-07-05, 5:39 am)
    - I think the irony has escaped the poster who reacted - emotionally. Where does irony (Views: 218, 2020-07-05, 12:32 pm)
  - News flash....masks don't stop viruses. They don't stop - anything smaller than bacteria. (Views: 222, 2020-07-05, 5:49 am)
    - Mouth diapers for the - DemZombies to contain (Views: 182, 2020-07-06, 10:07 am)
  - Research literature on mask usage doesn't provide - definitive answers. There's a scientific (Views: 240, 2020-07-05, 6:19 am)
  - WHO has flip flopped on it's response. even reversed - it's recommendations. Masks (Views: 209, 2020-07-05, 6:27 am)
  - You're right: It's - not a joke (Views: 274, 2020-07-05, 11:46 am)
  - Yeah, many great Americans died for our FREEDOM. - Is wearing a mask now somehow (Views: 193, 2020-07-05, 12:22 pm)
  - Didn't seem to bother Democrat Mayors during the riots... - should we only wear masks (Views: 227, 2020-07-05, 12:47 pm)
  - Duly noted, Chicken Little - Shouldn't you be (Views: 186, 2020-07-07, 1:00 pm)
- BB is good because good satire is really difficult to tell - from real news. Common sense (Views: 205, 2020-07-05, 5:42 am)
  - We're dealing with - panic; not common sense (Views: 234, 2020-07-05, 12:03 pm)
- There is so much truth in this! For a good long while now, - there's been so much misinformation (Views: 203, 2020-07-05, 5:49 am)
  - Have you seen Gates speak - about this vaccine? (Views: 199, 2020-07-05, 12:14 pm)
- This is one of the most profound satire messages from - BB lately. I think the one poster (Views: 293, 2020-07-05, 5:54 am)
- Rep. Eric Swalwell calls for a nationwide mask mandate: - You're protecting others' (Views: 243, 2020-07-05, 6:05 am)
- COVID-19 is close to losing its epidemic status in the U.S. - according to the CDC (Views: 333, 2020-07-05, 6:22 am)
  - But you won't hear this on the MSM. Look, someone actually - gave this good news a thumbs down! (Views: 212, 2020-07-05, 6:29 am)