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trying not to be selfish
Posted: Jul 26, 2011
Today has been the worst day of my 41 years on this planet. I cannot take anymore from my job, my family, and especially my kids. It has been an extremely hard 2 years and it boiled all over and I just do not have the fight in me anymore. I cannot muster up anymore strenght. Its all gone and I want to throw in the towel. I want peace.;
all done - anon
[ In Reply To ..]I completely understand. About 2 yrs ago, I went thru the same thing. Mine unfortunately left me very suicidal. I have tried my best to be understanding with family and spoke to them very politely about knowing they did not do things on purpose to upset me, but it either fell on deaf ears or I got blamed in the end. I really tried to get them to back off a bit and give me some room. I can usually handle anything on my own but the verbal abuse and criticism was making it impossible. Recently a large blow up happened. Now my mother and I are barely talking and my sister and I are not talking at all. I felt very guilty at first but then after a few days the weight lifted off my shoulders was amazing. Please take some time for yourself and take care of yourself - even if it means shutting them out for a while. They'll live. Go do some things that you like - even if you have to go alone. Sometimes a complete break in the stress is enough to really revive you. When you do start speaking to all of them again, if they ask while you shut them out just say you don't want to talk about. I had to learn that I didn't owe everyone an explanation for everything I did. My thoughts are with you!! You'll be fine!
See a therapist immediately. - sweetgirlsmom
[ In Reply To ..]Just having someone to listen makes a big difference. It will take time to work through some situations and a therapist can help you. For some situations there are resources in the community and the therapist can refer you. Anything you are experiencing
can be improved with professional guidance.
Remember these things:
1. We will not always be happy, but we can always stick around. As long as we have life, we have hope. Hope can be invisible at times, but it is always there.
2. The way you approach things and the way you respond to things is within your hands. Finding that power can bring you strength. Using that strength can bring you peace.
Get some help and get it now. My prayers are with you.
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