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Do you have a living will?

Posted: Jan 20, 2011

If you do what age did you get it. There is a reason I am asking.

;

I do not, but - cindy

[ In Reply To ..]
my mother-in-law did have a living will and they still performed CPR on her when her heart gave out and then hooked her up to an external pacemaker. Not one family member had heard from the hospital at all and if anything happened, she did not want any measures taken. We were in shock the next day when we went to visit her and she was hooked up to a respirator and had a pacemaker keeping her heart going. This all happened in the middle of the night. We asked the nurse what the hell happened and she told us and we asked why they did not call anyone in the family, as there was only my husband and his sister. The nurse proceeded to tell us that they tried to call her husband. I said "Well you must have a pretty good long distant plan as he is in heaven and has been dead for over five year!" So if you do have a living will, make sure the hospital actually knows what you want and has proper contact info, etc. as all this information was given to the hospital, but they chose to pull an old chart of hers and ignore the info given them!

I've had one for decades - Anon

[ In Reply To ..]
I've had a will and living will since my mid-20s. The will has been changed several times, and as I got older my advanced directives have changed. In my 20s, I wanted to be kept alive, now that I'm older, not so much.

There are free forms you can download from the internet, and also a form for a card to carry in your wallet.

Heck, no. I am an MT, I dont have anything to - to leave anybody. nm

[ In Reply To ..]
x

A living Will - SM

[ In Reply To ..]
Has to do with whether or not you want life support . . . nothing to do with what you would potentially leave someone.

Well, as an MT, I cant even afford to make that - decision. nm

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x

Have you also thought about pre-funeral arrangements? - Backwards Typist

[ In Reply To ..]
I definitely want to get pre-funeral arrangements taken care of since it does take a lot of grief away from the family. Everything is in black and white and no arguments can be made over the arrangements. Everything is paid for, too. No hassles. All I had to do for mom was pick an urn. All the other arrangements were taken care of by the funeral home.

I want to get a living will plus a regular will but just can't afford it. My mom had both. Her will was easy because I was the only child. It was only 2 pages but her living will was almost 10 pages long and covered everything.

A regular will for us would be tough to do without an attorney since we have a blended family and don't want to slight anyone. We really need someone to ask us questions that we wouldn't even think to do...unless we specify public auction of everything we own (which is not much), but I know that would also cause problems.

My mom did that - it was a huge relief for everyone - see message

[ In Reply To ..]
When mom was diagnosed with cancer she went ahead and did all the arrangements. I helped pick out her casket with her, we did all the paperwork for her funeral, buriel, etc. She paid for everything and it was a done deal. We then went to the cemetery and picked out her plot and paid for it. It was a huge relief for everyone.

My parents did that also. When my dad died, - sm

[ In Reply To ..]
there was no rush to get everything decided, we basically just went in and talked to the director, and everything timewise established. All we did was pick out songs for the actual service. With all the stress that goes on at a time like that, it was a relief not to have make split-minute decisions on such matters.

Yes, about a month after my 2nd child was born- sm - ECMT

[ In Reply To ..]
I was 34 at the time, dragged my DH to the local attorney here and did it all, wills, living will, medical power of attorney and durable general power of attorney. Figured it was time since we had 2 kids, and named the kids legal guardian in the wills as well in case we die together somehow. I was not about to take care of business out of fear of death, though I don't really fear it, just don't want it to happen for a while yet (40 more years or so is good as long as I am competent and coherent then anyway and not demented)

I don't, but.... - see message

[ In Reply To ..]
Back in 2005 when that girl was in the news whose husband removed her feeding tube and the parents were trying to keep it in (forget her name, but it was a huge story on TV) I told my husband flat out and in no round about way - I do NOT want to be kept alive no matter what. I told him flat out and clear and got it out in one breath because he never wants to talk about that. I told him I have no desire to hang onto dear life here.

So, we don't have living wills, but he knows what I want. For us it's not so much of a big deal. We have no kids, home, etc. Just belongings.

In my phone, under notes and ICE contact list... - Hayseed

[ In Reply To ..]
I actually have it typed into my phone in a note section as well as in my list of "in case of emergency" contacts:

"DNR/DNI, organ donor (see drivers license), and donate my body for research."

I then give instructions, again on the phone, that I have many animals at home and there is info there of who to contact to take care of my animals. Those people have instructions from me as far as where to go from there regarding their care/euthanasia.

Morbid, I know, but any little bit of info helps.

Living Will - sheepwhisperer

[ In Reply To ..]
I have a story about living wills that I would like to share. My mother was 49 years old (it will be 20 years ago this year) when she went into a diabetic coma for almost 2 weeks after trying to overdose on her insulin. As a result, she has been left severely brain damaged, nonverbal, unable to do anything for herself. At that time, she was married to a loser alcoholic husband that I definitely did not like. Anyway when this happened, there come a time that a decision needed to be made whether or not to give her a feeding tube or not. Of course, at that time all of us kids wanted her to have one and could not accept the fact that without it she was die. Unfortunately she did not have a living will and although we were her children, we ultimately had no say in what care she would receive, only him as he was her husband. He opted for her not to receive one and by what I thought then was a miracle, she actually started eating although her neurologica/mental status stayed the same. As a result, she has spent the last 20 years in a nursing home, totally incapacitated and cannot communicate her needs and has never had a life with her grandkids as she did not have any before this happened. After the first couple of months, he actually told me and I quote "I took care of her before this happened, you can take care of her now" and he never went back to the hospital to see her again. He passed away a couple of years ago from cancer and I hate to say it but I was not sad about it to say the least. To be honest, I despised that man. As the years have gone by and I have had to visit her in the nursing home for almost 2 decades now, I wonder was it really a blessing?

My point is this....the last thing you want to do is put your loved ones in the position of having to make these choices. You don't want to put them through what I have been through all these years. Be sure to have a living will and let your wishes be known. I just wish my mom had.

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