G.I. Joe To Be Replaced With Genderless G.I. Pat - satire? Posted: Feb 26th, 2021 - 2:51 pm
PAWTUCKET, RI—Hasbro announced today the replacement of its popular G.I. Joe action figure with an updated version that's much more fitting in the current year: G.I. Pat, a genderless take on the action hero.
After public outcry over the extremely masculine G.I. Joe, Hasbro finally caved and agreed to remove the super-macho action hero from store shelves.
"Now you know your gender identity -- and knowing is half the battle!" shouts an actor playing G.I. Pat in a commercial for the new toy as he struggles to light a Molotov cocktail and picks up a brick with the utmost effort. "Now let's go murder some cops!"
G.I. Pat comes with a Molotov cocktail, a brick, and a cute miniature copy of The Communist Manifesto. You can accessorize your G.I. Pat with genderless clothes, androgynous accessories, and fun equipment like smartphones that just play asinine TikTok videos and social justice lectures all day for your miniature action hero.
Conservatives immediately complained on social media, screaming that losing G.I. Joe would signal the end of the Republic. Hasbro then flip-flopped, caving to conservatives and announcing G.I. Joe would be made even more masculine under the new brand "MISTER HE-MAN G.I. JOE MURDER YOUR FACE ARMY MAN."
Post A Reply Reply By Email Options
Complete Discussion Below: (  marks the location of current message within thread)
- SimpliScribe?
- Columbus police stop stabbing, save black girl's life
- BLM protesters scream ‘we don’t want you here’ at diners outside NYC restaurant
- Fluency acting funky today??
- Nancy being Nancy again
- PDA
- Herpes infection possibly linked to COVID-19 vaccine, study says
- Derek Chauvin jury reaches verdict in George Floyd case
- Any recent info on Saince?
- Medical Transcriptionists/Scribes/Orthopedics
- Facebook Preparing to Censor Posts
- Maxine Waters Requested Police Escort to Minneapolis Protests
IMMEDIATE START - SECOND SHIFT- Judge rebukes Congresswoman Waters' remarks about Chauvin trial,
- Deliver Health
- Maxine Waters Accused of 'Inciting Violence' in Minneapolis, Resolution to Expel H
- Question for white people
- Softscript strikes again
- SHuR Can Services
- Report: 20 Albuquerque officers resign from Emergency Response Team
- DropBox
- Experienced PATHOLOGY MT's needed
- Last week's Rasmussen Polls
- ‘Dear God, Please Help Me to Hate White People’
- Chauvin Must Be ‘Guilty, Guilty, Guilty’ or We Take to the Streets
- This is fascinating
- Kneeling
- Per audio minute rate
- STOP MUMBLING, YOU [EXPLETIVE DELETED]S
- Another Classic - So funny, but SO TRUE!!!
- Labor leader: Union workers buying new cars, 'remodeling their homes'
- Teachers Union Head Randi Weingarten Says Kids Can’t Go Back To
- Washington Post Gave Trump ‘Four Pinocchios’ When He Questioned the
- CBS splices gun in Adam Toledo’s hand out of police shooting
- Radical Democrat Priorities in Biden's First 100 Days
- HIRING! IC Status- HIM/AC VoiceRec Editing
- U.S. intel community walks back claim Russia put bounties on
- Montana Supreme Court Email Scandal May Lead to Arrests, Impeachments
- Federal Government Caught Buying ‘Fresh’ Flesh Of Aborted Babies
- AOC - Selfies continue
- Reparations: How much do they owe you?
- Inner Circle worthless What are part-time minimum hours? SM
- Remember these names.
Line Count Questions- CIA shocker: Obama fundraiser says he was U.S. intel asset, alleges
- CNN Director Reveals the Awful Truth Behind CNN's COVID-19 Death Toll
- Tung mbung
- How do I fix Roadrunner email problems?
- Dems introducing bill to add 4 new SCOTUS
- Don’t republicans ever do anything wrong?
|
