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Twitter Shuts Down Entire Network To Slow Spread Of Negative Biden - News (satire?)

Posted: Oct 16th, 2020 - 5:20 am

SAN FRANCISCO, CA—In a last-ditch effort to stop negative stories about Joe Biden and his family from spreading, Twitter shut down its entire social network Thursday.

After seeing account after account tweet out one particularly bad story, CEO Jack Dorsey realized he had to take action. Dorsey smashed a glass box in his office reading "Break In Case Of Bad Publicity For Democrats." Inside the case was a sledgehammer for smashing Twitter's servers.

"Red alert -- shut the servers down! Shut them all down!"

Dorsey ran downstairs and started smashing as many computers as he could, but he did need to ask for some help, as the hammer was pretty heavy. None of the programmers could lift the hammer, either. Eventually, they managed to program a robot to pick up the sledgehammer and smash the servers.

After hearing the Twitter employees talk about critical theory, the robot got woke and began attacking all the cis white males.

LINK/URL: Twitter Shuts Down Entire Network To Slow Spread Of Negative Biden

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Twitter Shuts Down Entire Network To Slow Spread Of Negative Biden - News (satire?) (Views: 446, 2020-10-16, 5:20 am)
- The hilarious part of it is that Trump re-tweeted it as - if it were real news (Views: 272, 2020-10-16, 12:10 pm)
  - Keep telling yourself that. President Trump has a - sense of humor. CNN on the other (Views: 243, 2020-10-16, 12:36 pm)
  - The interesting thing is, the Babylon Bee is RIGHT. - nm (Views: 237, 2020-10-16, 12:38 pm)
  - The hilarious part is - that you posted this (Views: 257, 2020-10-16, 7:02 pm)
  - The hilarious part is that DemLiberal Fascists cannot - tell the difference and also (Views: 222, 2020-10-17, 3:33 pm)
- Biden’s ABC Town Hall questioners include former - Obama speechwriter and wife of (Views: 349, 2020-10-16, 12:43 pm)
- Giuliani keeps changing his story about - laptop (Views: 256, 2020-10-16, 1:22 pm)
  - What a crock....they got the emails because Biden's - idiot son left his computer at a (Views: 230, 2020-10-17, 9:13 am)
    - I would not have contacted the FBI after what they did - to Trump. They are trying to protect (Views: 224, 2020-10-17, 9:20 am)
    - They haven't been fed their talking points yet. - nm (Views: 225, 2020-10-17, 9:32 am)
  - We know it was Hunter's computer because hjs lawyer - confirmed it (now confirmed, I (Views: 214, 2020-10-17, 9:21 am)
  - You can spin until you vomit...your story is - full of holes and DemLiberal Fascists (Views: 241, 2020-10-17, 3:31 pm)