Government Accidentally Shuts Itself Down With Ban On - Non-Essential Businesses, satire? Posted: Mar 27th, 2020 - 3:07 pm
WASHINGTON, D.C.—Congress has asked all non-essential businesses to limit their hours or close entirely for an undetermined amount of time.
But this shutdown mistakenly shut down the most non-essential entity of all: the government. For a brief period of time, all government in the United States was illegal, since it is completely non-essential to everything.
"Oops," said Senator Mitch McConnell. "We meant non-essential private businesses. Of course, the government is always essential, even when it's not doing anything or is making things worse."
Senators, congresspeople, and bureaucrats frantically rewrote the ban to include only businesses that actually produced something and not government agencies that just watched other people make stuff. Though they had dragged their feet on passing bills related to relieving the financial distress of the shutdown, they passed this revision in record speed, almost as quickly as they vote for pay raises for themselves.
Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi said she would have caught the mistake but had passed the ban in a hurry, saying, "We had to pass the ban to see what it did."
LINK/URL: Government Accidentally Shuts Itself Down With Ban On
Post A Reply Reply By Email Options
Complete Discussion Below: (  marks the location of current message within thread)
- Any information on MnD Scriberz, LLC?
- My Name is
- ophthalmology help, please?
- Drew Brees was bullied into taking back his patriotic remarks.
- Violent, armed looters overrun Santa Monica Music Center:
Email from CEO- NYC looters seen escaping in Rolls-Royce SUV worth at
- LEGO stops marketing police-themed toys 'in light of recent events'
- Re: One Transcription Services
- Minneapolis: Do the rioters
- After telling GOP to downsize convention due to COVID-19, N.C.
- Los Angeles to slash up to $150M from LAPD budget, reinvest into
- Obama-era ex-intel official secures bail for NYC lawyer suspected
- More and more victims of Trump's revolving
- BOYCOTT ETSY AND DOORDASH
- Anybody working for Imedx?
- Other officers charged. Chauvin charge upgraded to 2nd degree murder.
- ‘BLM Is a Joke’: Black DC Resident Tells Far-Left Group ‘Go to Chicago’
- Rioters Stole Puppy & Abused It On Live TV. It’s Now Confirmed Dead–
- Apple is disabling and tracking some looted iPhones
- President Obama speaks
- USPS Mail Carrier Charged with Fraud After Allegedly Tampering with
- The lying about Donald Trump is now completely out of control
- Back to NJA already??
- HAD ENOUGH OF THE LIBERAL FASCIST LIES, BLM LIES
- In the last 96 hours...
- USPS in Chicago is suspending service and limiting
- Bogdan Vechirko made a delivery to a black-owned gas
- Armed man arrested for allegedly impersonating National Guard;
- FT/PT Escription Positions Available - Start Immediately - Precision Transcription, LLC
- FT/PT EMDAT Positions Available - Start Immediately - Precision Transcription, LLC
- Has anyone applied for early retirement this year
- SpeechMotion platform
- Nike Releases Commemorative Shoe To Honor Looters
- Take Back 100,000+ Jobs
- 'Random Piles of Bricks' Magically Appearing at Protests While
- Floyd was on fentanyl. Chauvin will walk. Stay tuned for more riots.
- Medscribe ad inquiry.....
- The term “anti-fascist” began as a lie. The Soviets coined
- Democratic Governors said they support large-scale protests,
- George Floyd unrest: How riot groups come together to loot,
- BLM and Antifa torch multi-family home with children inside
- Federal Protective Service Officer Fatally Shot in
- Dems trash NY Times over front-page headline deemed too
- VDI
- protest comments
- Two attorneys busted for throwing a Molotov cocktail through a
- Liberal professor uses Twitter to distribute terror instructions
- Editor of progressive newspaper celebrates protestors—then
- Clever Churchgoers Avoid Arrest By Disguising Themselves
|
