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Pelosi Delays Stimulus Package Until Her New Souvenir Pens Come In - I'm 99% sure this is satire :) LOL sm

Posted: Mar 26th, 2020 - 11:49 am

WASHINGTON, D.C.—Earlier today, lawmakers had announced they had reached an agreement on a stimulus package, totalling approximately $88 bajillion dollars. (Many expressed concern that we would have to pay this back at some point, but congresspeople assured their constituents that it's just their kids and grandkids who will have to pay for our reckless spending.)

But in a last-minute delay, Pelosi announced that she is out of souvenir pens to sign the bill and send it over to the president. "This is a somber emergency, of course, but it's important that I have a bunch of souvenirs to hand out to supporters, so I can remind everyone that I saved the economy."

"Once my souvenir pens come in, I'll sign our version so we can make this thing law," Pelosi said. "They're on backorder for the next 6-8 weeks, so just hang in there, America."

At publishing time, sources had confirmed the pens are coming from China, further delaying the passing of the stimulus bill.

LINK/URL: https://babylonbee.com/news/pelosi-delays-stimulus-package-until-her-new-souvenir-pens-come-in

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Pelosi Delays Stimulus Package Until Her New Souvenir Pens Come In - I'm 99% sure this is satire :) LOL sm (Views: 423, 2020-03-26, 11:49 am)
- Pelosi says House will take up measure on Friday ‘with strong bipartisan support’ - OP sm (Views: 195, 2020-03-26, 11:52 am)
  - It's scheduled for Friday. She signs nothing. Bee is - satire. It's what they do. And (Views: 155, 2020-03-26, 3:24 pm)
  - Hope she washes the box first.... - :) (Views: 151, 2020-03-26, 3:35 pm)
  - And UPS is backed up... - nm (Views: 141, 2020-03-26, 4:04 pm)
  - At her presser today, she already talked about Phase 4 - Truthhurts (Views: 141, 2020-03-26, 8:07 pm)
- That's hilarious! It's hard to tell truth from satire - anymore. (Views: 143, 2020-03-26, 2:34 pm)
  - Watch Snopes fact-check this. - :) (Views: 182, 2020-03-26, 4:04 pm)
- Just to keep things in perspective, 2 trillion would only - be enough to cover Medicare For All (Views: 197, 2020-03-26, 2:41 pm)
- Is this really satire or have they stumbled across the - truth? Good grief, BB has been (Views: 137, 2020-03-26, 3:14 pm)
- The fact you have to think about it and realize it's - satire tells you what Pelosi is (Views: 159, 2020-03-26, 3:26 pm)
- Senate voted to spend $2.4 trillion on relief to Americans. - That’s $8,000.00 for each man, (Views: 148, 2020-03-26, 3:43 pm)
- LOL!!! Another good one from Babylon Bee. Thinking - back on other times, the Democrats (Views: 154, 2020-03-26, 4:02 pm)
- The Lyin', the Witch and - sm (Views: 133, 2020-03-26, 5:20 pm)
- If Pelosi’s face was not stretched so tight she would - be smiling ear to ear. (Views: 175, 2020-03-27, 10:45 am)