Haunted House For Progressives Just Normal Conservative - Man's Home Containing Bibles, Posted: Oct 9th, 2019 - 1:02 pm
Guns, And A Copy Of The Constitution
Satire
PORTLAND, OR—It's that time of year where houses, churches, and businesses around the neighborhood begin opening up their haunted houses for those seeking a good fright.
One haunted house in Portland is promising progressives the scariest experience of all: a tour of a regular conservative guy's home. The home contains a sizable collection of guns, several Bibles, a few American flags, some pictures of Ronald Reagan, and of course, a copy of the Constitution.
"I can't look!" screamed one progressive as he opened one door and saw a hunting rifle. "Ahhhhh!!!" He ran from the house screaming, taking shelter in a nearby yoga studio.
The haunted house's owner, Bob Larson, told reporters he saw an opportunity to make a little bit of cash and ran with it. "I didn't really even change anything," he said, shrugging, as he turned Fox News up to full blast to add a spooky atmosphere and started cleaning one of his handguns. "I just sit here and watch my favorite Fox News hosts and they all walk through the house, screaming in fright."
No progressive has currently made it through more than a few rooms in the house, as they usually run screaming or dive out a window in their hurry to get away.
In the haunted house's scariest room, the attic, there's a copy of the Constitution hanging on the wall. As guests slowly approach the frightening document, a hidden speaker begins reading it out loud in the voice of George W. Bush. One progressive died on the spot of a heart attack.
Larson's haunted house did give one of his entrepreneurial progressive neighbors an idea, however, and the liberal has opened a haunted house for conservatives that's just a gay person standing there doing nothing.
LINK/URL: Haunted House For Progressives Just Normal Conservative
Post A Reply Reply By Email Options
Complete Discussion Below: ( marks the location of current message within thread)
- DBP Transcription
- Financial Services business and personal loans no collateral require
- FINANCIAL SERVICES BUSINESS CASH LOAN COMPAN GRANTED ME A BUSINESS LOANS
- Quick Financial Services business Loan and personal loans Online with Direct Lenders
- Buy 100% undetectable counterfeit money grade AAA+ | SSD CHEM | CLONED CARDS FOR SALE @(infodocument
- Buy 100% undetectable counterfeit money grade AAA+ | SSD CHE
- Buy 100% undetectable counterfeit money grade AAA+ | SSD CHEM | CLONED CARDS FOR SALE @(infodocument
- Buy Pain killers | Mdma,2CB,A-PVP,3CMC | OZEMPIC | STEROIDS (Ecstasy/Nembutal) | Heroin Cocaine (Tel
- Buy 100% undetectable counterfeit money grade AAA+ | SSD CHEM | CLONED CARDS FOR SALE @(infodocument
- Buy 100% undetectable counterfeit money grade AAA+ | SSD CHEM | CLONED CARDS FOR SALE @(infodocument
- Buy 100% undetectable counterfeit money grade AAA+ | SSD CHEM | CLONED CARDS FOR SALE @(infodocument
- Buy 100% undetectable counterfeit money grade AAA+ | SSD CHEM | CLONED CARDS FOR SALE @(infodocument
- Buy 100% undetectable counterfeit money grade AAA+ | SSD CHEM | CLONED CARDS FOR SALE @(infodocument
- Buy Pain killers | Mdma,2CB,A-PVP,3CMC | OZEMPIC | STEROIDS (Ecstasy/Nembutal) | Heroin Cocaine (Tel
- Buy 100% undetectable counterfeit money grade AAA+ | SSD CHEM | CLONED CARDS FOR SALE @(infodocument
- LOAN OFFER WITHOUT STRESS WE GIVE OUT LOAN FROM $5000 TO $500,0000
- LOAN OFFER WITHOUT STRESS WE GIVE OUT LOAN FROM $5000 TO $500,0000
- Quick Financial Services business Loan and personal loans Online with Direct Lenders
- LOANS FOR 3% INTEREST RATE PER YEAR PERSONAL LOANS & BUSINESS LOAN OFFER APPLY NOW
- IN SEARCH OF URGENT LOAN, PERSONAL LOAN, STUDENT LOAN, PRIVATE LOAN, CAR LOAN?
- Quick Financial Services business Loan and personal loans Online with Direct Lenders
- WE OFFER ALL TYPES OF LOAN (BUSINESS LOAN, PERSONAL LOAN, CONSOLIDATION LOAN, FINANCIAL LOAN
- Auckland- New Zealand +256747234371 Death Spells/ Voodoo Love Spells In Wellington, Revenge Spell C
- jaja kevin....+256747234371 Am African best spells, and I am Spiritual Healer,
- Get an Instant Personal Loan with Quick Approval – Apply Now!
- Financial Services business and personal loans no collateral require
- Quick Financial Services business Loan and personal loans Online with Direct Lenders
- DO YOU NEED A LOAN APPLY NOW LOAN OFFER AT 2%
- Financial help Money Lender Get Loan
- Invest on bitcoin mining and earn more profit
- URGENT LOAN OFFER FOR BUSINESS AND PERSONAL USE
- Quick Financial Services business Loan and personal loans Online with Direct Lenders
- IN SEARCH OF URGENT LOAN, PERSONAL LOAN, STUDENT LOAN, PRIVATE LOAN, CAR LOAN?
- LOANS FOR 3% INTEREST RATE PER YEAR PERSONAL LOANS & BUSINESS LOAN OFFER APPLY NOW
- format question
- Financial Services business loan and personal loans no collateral require
- Quick Financial Services business Loan and personal loans Online with Direct Lenders
- WE OFFER QUICK LOAN PERSONAL LOAN, BUSINESS LOAN, AND DEBT CONSOLIDATION LOAN
- DO YOU NEED A PERSONAL LOAN / BUSINESS LOAN AT 3% INTEREST RATE? APPLY
- Smart Prep with Updated Appian ACD101 Exam Questions
- FINANCIAL SERVICES BUSINESS CASH LOAN COMPAN GRANTED ME A BUSINESS LOANS
- Quick Financial Services business Loan and personal loans Online with Direct Lenders
- +27764410726 PENIS ENLARGEMENT CREAM & PILLS in BARBERTON, BETHAL, STANDERTON, MALALANE, ACOR
- [+27764410726] PENIS ENLARGEMENT CREAM & PILLS in South africa, SECUNDA, OGIES, KWAGGAFONITEN,
- PENIS ENLARGEMENT +27764410726 Early ejaculation in South africa, SECUNDA, OGIES, ERMELO,KWAGGAFON
- PENIS ENLARGEMENT [[[+27764410726]]]⓶ CREAM & PILLS in PRETORIA, SOSHANGUVE, MAMELODI, HAMMANS
- Powerful {+27764410726 } ENLARGEMENT CREAM FOR PENIS In LIMPOPO, GIYANI, POLOKWANE, MALAMULELE, BOTC
- [ +27764410726] PENIS ENLARGEMENT in Port Elizabeth, East London , East Rand , Elliot , Engcobo ,
- PENIS ENLARGEMENT CREAM [+27764410726]] ╬ & PILLS in Modimolle, Zebediela, Senwabarwana, Den
- PENIS ENLARGEMENT- [+27764410726 ] CREAM & PILLS in Phalaborwa , Piet Retief , Tzaneen, Soekmeka
|