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Barak Obama and Eric Holder step outside the White House for some cold crisp winter air.
In the snow, they see something written in yellow pee: "Barak Obama is a narcisistic, sociopathic, fascist dictator!"
Everyone knows that the one thing that Barry Obama has NEVER tolerated is anyone writing the truth about him, even if it lasts no longer than the next warm day. Incensed, he orders Holder to find out who penned this scurrilous snow-blog.
Eric dutifully snaps some pics with his cell phone and scoops up the yellow snow for forensic analysis.
A couple of weeks later, Eric visits Barry in the Oval Office.
"BO, I've got good news and bad news."
"Gimme the good news."
"Your Most Holy Mystical Eminence, Divine Emperor of the States American and Frightful Deity of the Entire Universe, I am pleased to inform you that DNA testing shows conclusively that the pee came from none other than that vile person, John Boehner, Speaker of the House of Irrelevant Representatives, one who is even more reprehensible than unreplaced divots on the links which Your Godliness inhabits."
"That's great, EH! Our old nemesis, out waggling his wienie in public, eh? Hee-hee! We've got him dead to rights now! Schedule a press conference! Charge him with crimes! Throw him in prison! We'll bury him! We'll grind him to bits! We'll mush him to paste! We'll - "
"Umm, you better chill, Your Supreme Bro'-ship. I said there's some bad news too, remember?"
"Oh, all right. Spill it."
"Well, I hate to tell you this, Your Indescribable Awesomeness, and I wouldn't blame you one little bit if you chopped off my head for saying so - I know what odd rituals you Muslims have! - but it's Michelle's handwriting."
____________
Another victory for forensic science.