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This is embarrassing, but.......

Posted: Apr 5, 2016

Has anyone on here ever declared bankruptcy? I was laid off from my job with one of the big companies (would rather not say which--I was afraid of my TL then and I am still afraid). Anyway, I have a 5-year-old, and am single. I have always worked and supported us. I can see that the MT world is fading away. I never dreamed I would be in this position. Does anybody have any kind/wise words to share? Thanks in advance.;

Please do not be embarrassed. I can tell you - from my own experience I had

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the same feelings, shame, failure, defeat. I couldn't sleep at night, barely could breathe with the bill collectors hounding me day and night. Nobody cared that for the first time in 20 years I was without a job. I finally mustered up the courage to make a consultation appt with a well known bankruptcy lawyer in my area. I was mortified when I went to the office until I saw the PILES of files they were working on. Depending on your circumstances and objectives will decide which chapter you file. The one thing I can say when all was said and done, I wish I had done it sooner. The day my case was file, I slept like a baby. It was a huge burden removed. Never, ever in my life did I anticipate having to file bankruptcy, but there I was staring the prospect in the face. You make one quick appearance before the BK trustee and when you look around the room at the hundred or so people waiting their turn, you'll realize you're not the outcast you talked yourself into thinking you were. Good luck!

Thank you for your reassurance - Billie

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I can (barely) make it until the UE runs out. I am already looking for a cheaper apartment. (The one we have is by no means fancy, I can tell you.) I have three friends who have filed bankruptcy--and one of them was a former CEO! He had serious medical problems and was forced to do a chapter 7. My father (we were not rich people, if anything, we were lower middle class) always emphasized to me to always pay my bills on time, and I have. I have never had a fancy vacation, do not even have a car (we use the bus) and I am content with my life. But I can see the big B word looming in my not so distant future. I notice on a lot of apartment applications they ask if you have ever filed bankruptcy. If it's not too personal, did you experience any repercussions from going bankrupt? Like people who would not rent to you, etc. I am sure that I will never in my lifetime own a house (never have), so a mortage is out of the question. Anyway, I am really happy to be out of "the pit" (as I had come to call my old job) with no more sadistic TL to deal with, but now this. I am applying for jobs. I am hoping and praying I can get something outside of MT. I just feel so burned out. Someone on one of the other boards said she was really burned out, too, so I think it is common. When you treat people like things (are you listening MM, N and a few others?), bad consequences result. Anyway, thank you for your kindness. It was much needed and very much appreciated.

Filed 6 years ago - best thing I ever did

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Yes! It debated it for a solid 2 years and finally just did it. It has not really affected me in any way other than I'm a crappy candidate for a mortgage loan. Sometimes you just have to weigh your options and do what is best for you!

TAA - Mountainwoman

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If you were laid off by one of the big MTSOs, have you checked into TAA? It's a part of unemployment that applies to those people who lost their job because of loss of work due to offshoring. I know MM has already been qualified. If so, talk to your local UE office. It will extend your benefits and also pay for job retraining with UE benefits while you go to school. It will also pay for relocation if you find a job that would require you to move. Here is the link for the Department of Labor information. Good luck either way.

https://www.doleta.gov/tradeact/taa/taa_search_form.cfm

Mountainwoman - Billie

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Thank you so much!

I filed last year and yes it is the best thing that ever - happened to me also

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Kept my house and my car. Also kept the Kirby vaccuum cleaner my dumb-A husband got on payments because it wasn't worth them coming out to take it from me. The BK payments come out of my check and I never even miss the money. It's less than my car payment was.

Billie some kind words for you - see message

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You have options available to you, as the above posters have pointed out. You should feel good about them, take advantage of them, and feel good about yourself because you are actually headed in a better direction now. I know exactly what you mean about the brow beating the companies dish out. That should be gone now, but it will take a little time for you to let go of the stress from it and sleep better at night. It will happen.

It is a shame when someone is willing and desperate to actually work hard and still have to live in constant fear. Let that fear go. Billie, be happy right now, for you and for your child. Do not put being happy on hold for anything - not a house, a car, a better job, etc. Find a way to actually enjoy life with your child. None of us is promised tomorrow and you may not get the chance to create a happy environment for you two in the future, so do not put it off, do it now. Come to terms with the situation that you have found yourself in and understand that it is not a reflection of who you are or your lack of effort.

Do not wait. Takes those positive steps. If bankruptcy means a better life, go for it, and please feel comfortable with it because you deserve a new start. Embrace it, use it, and be better off for it. Everyone here certainly understands and I personally wish you the best of luck in your new life!!

The only thing I have to offer you is "don't be embarrassed." - me (sm)

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It's nothing to be embarrassed about. It's not your fault.

Probably 1 of the best things I have ever done - was bankruptcy

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Mine was years ago and for years I paid by cash, I guess afraid to ask for credit again because I don't like to be turned down. Few years down the road wanted to buy a car. My slate was completely clean, nothing there, just like I was just starting out fresh. I now have excellent credit but it was a good thing for me, never regretted and didn't feel bad about it either.

Life happens - Backwoods Typist

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That's a fact. Only thing we can do is play the hand we are dealt.

Over the past 5-6 years, I have lost several loved ones, including my furry son, who came into our lives at a perfect time, my grandfather, a good friend, and probably soon another family member to cancer. My point: Life is TOO SHORT and you have to do what is best not just for yourself, but your child. Nobody but you can know what is best for you.

If bankruptcy would alleviate your fear and worry, then go for it. Lots of people have found themselves in bad situations through no fault of their own. Do not feel like a failure. It is MT that has failed you. They have failed each and every one of us. They take advantage of us, by instilling fear (as clearly your TL clearly has). Let go of that fear, grab your life by the hair and say no more, then beat that **tch like you would like beat your old TL.

I really wish you the best. We all need to leave this profession, as it is clearly dying/sinking. I refuse to go down with it. I admit that after my department was outsourced, I had a bit of a pity party for myself...for 2 years. Finally, I had enough of feeling like crap and being crabby and depressed. This year, I have made it my resolution to finish school and move on from MT.

Much love to you and your kid. If nothing else, get a free consultation with a bankruptcy lawyer and just see what s/he has to say. It cant hurt. You cant do anything but sleep better.

To Backwoods Typist and all the other kind people - Billie

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I found an ad for a woman bankruptcy lawyer today. We have a family funeral this coming week, but the week after that, I am going to go and see her. A friend took me to lunch today and told me how arduous it is to prepare for bankruptcy. I said that the welfare of my son is the most important thing. I must say that I have never been this frightened in all of my life. I know it does not sound rational. Perhaps after she and I talk, things will be better. I would just like to thank everyone on here for being so kind to me. Sometimes people in the world are not kind, but all of you are, and I thank you.

Bankruptcy, workers'comp, etc all exist to address legitimate problems - that are often beyond our control.

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Bankruptcy is actually far better for both you AND the creditor than simply defaulting on your obligations. For instance, when a debt is discharged in bankruptcy, the creditor can write off the whole amount of the debt immediately, whereas it's more problematic for the creditor to declare the debt as uncollectable.

Billie - Nick

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I'm kind of late to this thread, but ironically enough, I spent this morning helping someone get ready for bankruptcy. Please do not feel that there is any shame in making this decision. Most times, people declare bankruptcy out of dire necessity--a job loss, devastating medical bills, or some other serious life event that they themselves did not cause. Plenty of famous people, from Thomas Jefferson to Tom Petty, have done it. It would give you an opportunity to get a fresh start. I think that much of the "cloud" that existed over bankruptcy has dissipated in this day and time. We live in financially perilous times and there are lots of things beyond our control. MTs have EPIC and the loss of jobs. There are similar things going on in other industries, too, involving offshoring. I cannot be more specific because I cannot reveal details, but just know that this industry is not the only one being impacted. I hope you have been able to move forward. Do it proudly, be grateful that we live in a nation that gives people second chances, and know that you are doing the right thing for yourself and your child. Whatever you do, do not be embarrassed. You have nothing to be embarrassed about. I know a lawyer who also serves as a BK referee in Bankruptcy Court, and the room of filers waiting for their hearings is packed each and every day. You did nothing wrong. Be strong. You will get through this.

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