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Anyone else having meltdowns right now?
Posted: Dec 2, 2009
I don't know if it's the holidays or the crappy weather or the stress of everything but it seems like I can't go a day without crying for the last week. We have stuff every single weekend (almost every day really) this month, we don't have one Christmas decoration out yet, haven't bought even one present for the kids (have the money, just haven't found the time). Husband got a new job several months ago and works 12-16 hour days. He's gone before I get up in the mornings and home with an hour to spare before he konks out in the chair or I go to bed. When he's working nights, he's putting his boots on as I'm pulling into the driveway and then I may or may not see him the next morning depending on when he gets off work and when I have to get the kids to school and myself to work. He told me he would like me to do more things around the house so he wouldn't have to worry about it (got to quit my second job and we hired a gardener for the yard) but then when I do do something on my own (got new tires for my truck) then he tells me I got the wrong ones and then I end up in tears because I've "screwed it up". I told him last night that him and I were going to have to take a half day off work in order to get the kids shopping done while they were at school. Carpets need to be cleaned, baking needs to be done, kids still have extracurricular activities going on. It just doesn't seem like there are enough hours in the day or enough days in the week. Trying to spend more time with my husband (we really only get one full day a week of family time), I decided to go with him and the kids to deer camp for the first time. Our second day there, I cried and bawled and told him I hated it there and I wanted to go home. I ended up with a migraine and he had to drive me 3 hours to home and then 3 hours back to camp. I don't know whether to say Bah Humbug to everyone or just go to bed and pull the covers over my head for the next few weeks!!!!
;
Option #1 - Decide to opt out of all the Xmas sm - ChiaPet
[ In Reply To ..]over-achieving this year. Who cares if you don't decorate (especially when you say "no decorations yet" - it's first week of December!) or bake or even do your carpets. YOU decide what to take on and only YOU decide if you are going to be overwhelmed by all the stuff society says we "should do" for the holiday season.
However, it does sound like you are stressed over the new job and added responsibilities, and possibly even depressed (maybe SAD due to dropping light levels?) - I'd make a stop at your doc to see if there is anything medical going on as well.
Buck up - you don't have to be Superwoman to give your family happy memories for Xmas!
The part of your post that made me smile .... - St Nick
[ In Reply To ..]was that you actually went to deer camp. I get that you wanted to be with your husband, but I had to smile a little at that one. I'm not the outdoorsy type and if I even suggested to my husband that I wanted to go to camp with him, he would laugh me right back in the house.
Sounds like you need to relax and streamline your schedules. Are there any activities that you can cut out? The kids don't need to be out every night of the week. I have 3 boys and we do only 1 activity per week.
Now for the decorating, I don't know what ages your kids are, but take a night and order in a pizza and have the kids help you decorate. Most kids enjoy it. If hubby's working or too tired to help, don't get upset. I'm sure he will appreciate your efforts and the fact that he didn't have to do the lights :)
As for you and hubby time, can you schedule a weekend together? Maybe take a 3-day weekend and do your Christmas shopping while grandma & grandpa take the kids. You need a chance to talk and catch up. It might take a little rearranging of schedules or cutting of activities, but finding time is the most important gift you can give yourself and your family.
FYI: I still don't have my Christmas tree up yet. Maybe tonight.
No meltdown here but yours to me sounds different - Hanging in there
[ In Reply To ..]You both are working,correct? All in family in good health, correct? Gosh, what wealth you actually have. This does not sound like just the Christmas blahs, rather like someone else said, you sound depressed. I have no decorations up, might not get around to those, no small children here, older child coming over that day to spend with me and we are making a day of watching some old reruns of television program she says I will love. This year I am putting hopefully smiles on younger kids faces that might not have Santa come see them. Delivered toys for 4 children this morning and the father said he was out of work, just barely getting by with the necessities, no money for presents for his kids. This is giving me a lot of pleasure, more so than anyone could know. Look at what you have. You have so much. Some like the guy this morning nothing much. Look on the bright side. Life could be so much harder for you and right now things are sweet. So not much time to see hubby, work out a time like the above poster stated, 1 or 2 days for hubs and you. Crying is not helping but like I said, sounds more like depression than most anything else.
Update - crying daily
[ In Reply To ..]Hubby got home last night and was not quite so tired so we actually had some quality time together! I called one of his sisters who is going to keep the kids one night next week for a few hours so we can get that part of the Christmas shopping done. He told me he just wasn't going to be able to put the lights on the house this year so I told him if he'd get the ornaments out of the attic and my Christmas village down then I would be happy with that. Going to try and get back into town Sunday afternoon in time to go get a tree and at least set it up (kids and I can hang the ornaments on throughout the week). Hubby's big Christmas party is next weekend and he surprised me and got us a room to just stay there for the night. I'm taking off work one day next week and going to volunteer at the youngest's school all day for their Santa Shoppe (helping them pick out gifts and helping them wrap). Told my son I would eat lunch with him in the cafeteria that day and his eyes lit up (not something I normally get to do since my commute to work and back is an hour and a half each day). I slipped out of work for a few minutes this morning and picked up one of those Keurig coffee makers for my husband's new office (just have to find a place to hide it until I can get it wrapped and put under the tree!)
Deep breath in, deep breath out, try and take it day by day.
I also picked up a book (Twilight) and read it the last couple of nights. It has been SO long since i've read a book and I thoroughly enjoyed it!!!
Good for You - To crying daily - Fingers
[ In Reply To ..]I hope things are starting to look up for you. As another poster said, you have so much to be thankful for. You and hubby have jobs. I hope everyone is healthy. You have your precious children. And you know what, so what if everything does not get done. Big deal. Lighten up. YOU are putting too much pressure on yourself.
You need a hot bath, a glass of wine, and a new attitude. Heck, let the kids decorate and leave it at that - just the way they do it. As long as they are happy, you should be happy. They are picking up on your stress you know.
Also, instead of considering everything about the holidays as a chore, try to enjoy doing it (especially the stuff with the kids). Even let the kids pitch in on the food. Are they old enough to make something simple? Fine, that's what it should be, simple.
In addition to being parents, you and hubby are still a couple. Remember that and the things that really are important. All of the undue stress should not dampen your holidays. Let it go. Have the kids help you "clean up" as much as possible. Make a turkey or a ham and have sandwiches - as long as you are all together and you are happy. Do not make too many plans during the holidays except to spend it with your family doing much of nothing. Watch holiday movies, etc. Go to the mall and not buy anything.
All of the expectations, especially the ones you put on yourself, can be too overwhelming and cause disappointment for everyone. Please do not let this happen to you. FOCUS - FAMILY! Count your blessings.
I wish you, hubby, and your children true happiness all through the holiday season.
Thank you! - Crying Daily
[ In Reply To ..]Amongst all of our blessings this has been a really rough year for me (involves my 18 yo son but that's a VERY long story for another time) and I suspect that my tears are very much related to him. I have to smile on the outside for the rest of the family though. It's tough being a mom who wears her heart on her sleeve!!
Anyways, I wish you and your family a Very Merry Christmas! An early toast to everyone for an awesome 2010 full of blessings and love!
See, you just have so much, just look around! - Hanging in there, again
[ In Reply To ..]Ok, 1 kid is not quite there of sorts. I have the same here, only mine is in his 40s and long story, even in same town have not seen now for 4 years. Worked until 8 tonight and then I took myself to Walmart and finished my Secret Santa shopping for 5 families (children only now!) but a total of 15 so I am one tired lady. I am not buying for adults this year, sorry have done that in the past and this year little kiddies who need Santa to come visit. I am really blessed and appreciate what I have. My health could be better but I look good!! Told my doctor the other day look good on the outside and crumbling on the inside. Married to a terrific guy and he and I are just a couple of lovebirds at a old age. I am glad to see you are better. No need to cry and be blue. Think about the ones, and I really mean this, who do not have what we have. You all have very happy holidays!!
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