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Thoughts and prayers

Posted: Nov 11, 2016

I'm not even sure where to begin. I have so much anger and frustration inside me right now that I am tense and achy, depressed and sad. I am isolated from adults, only kids at home since my husband admitted to cheating and moved in with her. I do go to church; however, everyone at the church knows my husband and me and it is difficult for me to tell them what has happened because he was thought to be such a wonderful Christian man. Hate the sin, not the sinner. My family is emotionally unavailable because we were supposed to be married forever. Added to all this, my work with MM is absolutely terrible and almost unbearable. I have very little financial resources, especially with an impending divorce, so quitting at this point is not an option. I have been journaling, reading online, trying to find ways to be calm in my current situation, but there are more days than not that are bad and struggles.

Any words of advice, help, poetry, anything will be grateful.

Thanks!

;

If you get comfort from church, but things sm - Thinking of you.

[ In Reply To ..]
are awkward at your current church, consider switching, even temporarily, even out of town where you are not known You don't owe ANYbody details, not members of your current church, nor a new one. Just go, listen, and take comfort in the sermon and just being with others.

Now would be a good time to set a few ground rules with your children regarding respect for you, and space in which to make your decisions.

I know it is very hard to do, but only allow yourself so much time during the day to obsess (I've been there; I know how it feels). Allow yourself a lot of time at first, but keep whittling it down. After that time, visualize a big box with a lid. Visualize putting all your worries in there and closing the lid. Nail it down if you have to. I don't say this lightly. I work at Mmodal, too. With an accuracy requirement of 99.6 and a newly raised LPH requirement, you cannot afford to have your focus divided, if you need your job. Worry is like a rocking chair. It keeps you busy, but you don't get anywhere.

If you have not done so, TALK TO A LAWYER. I know money is tight, but it will be the biggest value for the money spent.

Accept that this is going to be tough, and allow yourself to stumble, and grieve, but you've got this. I think you'll find eventually that you've had it all along, you just didn't know it.

I'm so sorry you're going through all of this.

So compassionate and helpful - Thank you!

[ In Reply To ..]
Thank you so much for your words. They lighten the heavy burden in my heart some. I have seen a lawyer and am unfortunately still confused and overwhelmed, but at least took that step.
Thanks again for your kindness!

Lawyer - SM

[ In Reply To ..]
I just wanted to add that if you can't afford an attorney, check with your local public aid office. I know in my state there is legal aid available to people with lower incomes.

I will keep you and your kids in my prayers. I've been in your shoes and wouldn't wish that kind of hurt on anyone except the bastard who caused it. Just take comfort in knowing the two of them are getting exactly what they deserve.

First, hugs and prayers for you. Since he has basically - abandoned his family, I would

[ In Reply To ..]
high tail it down to your local child welfare and get a child support order in place. He may think the grass is greener on the other side, but that doesn't excuse his obligations. Start taking care of YOU. Your church should be a source of comfort for you now, but I can understand the predicament you feel. Give them a chance to help you through this :-)

Thank you for your thoughts - sm

[ In Reply To ..]
I did try to go to another church and it just didn't feel right. I have now gone from be a "regular" to church and home so I don't have to explain why I might be crying or where my husband is and so forth.

Thank you also for helping me!

Suggestions - Rusty

[ In Reply To ..]
A similar thing happened to a woman in our church, and one day just made the announcement to the whole church "my husband and I are divorcing, he has left me, and does not want to be with me anymore." She told a few of the more gossipy people that he left her for another woman and did not know what she was going to do about finances until he started paying child support. Some of us gave her cards of "thinking of you at this time" and included gift cards in them. If your church family is not supporting you in this way, you need to find one that will. Find a divorce support group through a church, if you want, or another avenue. Find comfort in your children, they are healthy, they are loved, and they are safe. I know it sucks going through a divorce, but be strong for them, and show them what an incredible woman you are, and you will all get through this together. I hope and pray you find the strength you need, and I hope his penis falls off. Hugs

Blessing in disguise - Backwoods Typist

[ In Reply To ..]
Think of this as a blessing in disguise. No doubt you loved this man, but for him to have done what he did...he does not deserve you. He is not worthy of the greatness that is you. Make sure you check into alimony and child support with your lawyer.

Certainly take the time to sort through your feelings about this. DO let your church help you. No shame in it. Tell them in your own time, but they will find out eventually anyways. It is not a reflection on you or anything you did wrong. It is a negative reflection on him and his "other head" doing the thinking for him. If he needed something from you he was not getting, he should have been man enough to discuss it with you outright. His own actions destroyed his image in the church and he can blame nobody but himself. Eventually that lush green pasture will wither and brown, and he will likely realize just how stupid he was. Who knows...he may end up with something even Ajax cant take off. Guess that would be his prize for his actions.

The emotions you feel of confusion, etc. are normal. Take solace in the fact that you are not the only person going through this. I am sure there are local groups to connect with that will be a good source of support. Bottling emotions up is not a good thing, unless you are a stick of dynamite. Eventually this will be nothing but a bump in the road, you will realize how great you are and what you deserve, and you will move forward with getting just that. Do not settle for anything less than that...life is too short!

Love, hugs, and prayers to you as you move forward. It will be hard no doubt, but God has your back. It's easy to lose your faith when things seem so dark, but just wait...your guiding light will shine soon.

I just wanted you to know that you're sm - Thinking of you.

[ In Reply To ..]
being thought of today. I hope it's a good day, and your Thanksgiving turns out to be an enjoyable and blessed one. Sending hugs.

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