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Am I expecting too much...What is my problem?

Posted: Feb 12, 2011

I feel myself sliding into a horrible depression and I honestly don't know why. I've never been depressed before in my life except for fleeting circumstantial incidents that resolved within a few days but I just can't shake this.

What confuses me is I don't know WHY I'm depressed. I'm married to a wonderful, beautiful guy who treats me like a queen. We have a very nice little life together, albeit not with a huge amount of financial freedom.

I have a wonderful child in college doing exceptionally well.

I work 2 jobs and, yes, I occasionally get tired, but I LOVE my work. I don't think I have burnout because I truly to enjoy both of my jobs and although they'll never make me rich, they do provide a very respectable income.

My parents are both still with me and in fair to good health.

The bills are all paid, no huge mortgages or credit card debts looming over our heads.

I don't understand WHY I'm depressed. I feel like a sloth, to be honest. How dare I be depressed when so many people are struggling right now and, instead of falling into this self-absorbed abyss of depression, I should be on my knees giving thanks for the many blessings I have.

I'm in my mid 40s. My mother and her family, IMO, have had a rather blatant diagnosis of untreated bipolar disorder; while I don't have those characteristics, I'm wondering if my sudden downward spiral into depression could be related to some late-evolving genetic syndrome related to bipolar disorder.

Or, maybe I'm just trying to make excuses for myself and my depression by pointing the finger at genetics?

If anyone here has experienced inexplicable depression, I'd really love to hear your story and what, if anything, you were able to do to pull yourself out of it and carry on.

Thanks to anyone who took the time to read this and whoever takes the time to respond.

;

Just wondering if this might be menopausal - which can cause SM

[ In Reply To ..]
depresssion.

Sounds like perimenopause or menopause (sm) - billie

[ In Reply To ..]
In my mid-40s I became very depressed, cried at the drop of a hat, etc. but actual menopause did not happen until I was 50. I think this can happen during the perimenopause phase. Now that I am menopausal I am still depressed at times, meaner than a witch, have no desire to do anything, exhausted all the time, and very unsocialable...when will it ever end?

I hear ya.... - and I'm right there with ya

[ In Reply To ..]
Going through menopause right now. Today I was all dressed and ready to go to a recently joined fitness class...and I just didn't go. I plopped down at my desk and started cleaning it, much needed, but I needed more to go to exercise class. I was just depressed, crying, no motivation to do anything, and completely exhausted this morning before I even got out of bed. I made myself get up and get showered anyway. And another thing, lately, when I use my stationary bike I am absolutely wiped out by that evening, more so than the "normal" tired I've been living with for the last couple of years now. Doesn't seem to happen when I do a fitness class or cardio or aerobics DVD at home, not even the treadmill tires me like the bike. And like you, no desire to do anything most days, and today was worse. I hope this phase goes away soon. I've put on weight, 10 pounds in a year, and regular exercise isn't taking it off this time. The belly fat.......GROSS. I have never had it like this before. Is there any help out there?

Some ideas - no1joe

[ In Reply To ..]
A few years back, I went through sort of a "funk." I was extremely exhausted, unmotivated, just blah for lack of a better word, which could have easily been mistaken for signs of depression (I also have those family members with some definite undiagnosed "issues," and that loom of some sort of genetic or familial link to what I was experiencing was definitely worrisome). Turns out I was hypothyroid. A little bit of Synthroid every day works wonders, and, although it is long term, the generic is inexpensive so not a major blow to my pocketbook. It made me feel like a new woman.

Is it your child's first year in college? If so, it might be a little bit of that empty nest thing going on which is perfectly normal and takes some time to adjust to the new changes.

Lastly, even if you're having regular periods, mid 40s means that you could be showing some early signs of menopause. I hate to suggest that because I feel that many times women's symptoms are just attributed to "a woman thing," but it could very well be that it's something hormonal that many of us experience... yay :/

Hang in there, and start out by just having some basic labs drawn and speaking to your GYN. Even if everything turns out normal on that end, they could guide you further as to the next step. Feel better : )

Exercise - RedBaron

[ In Reply To ..]
Have you considered joining a fitness class? It seems to me the more I exercise, the better I feel. Good luck.

Depression - Sam

[ In Reply To ..]
I was you last summer...depression is not always situational. I have a great life as well, but found myself in a deep hole in spite of it. Talk to your doctor about meds, talk to a good counselor, explore acupuncture and if you can find it within you, try to exercise. This is not your fault and you will get out of it. Good luck to you!

Some ideas that work for me - Angel

[ In Reply To ..]
What works for me is getting sunlight, take a walk, exercise, meditate and read some autobiographies about people who have met challenges in their own lives, this usually cheers me up. Good luck and don't be embaressed to talk to your doctor, psychologist, feel better.

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