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what I just caught my 13yo doing

Posted: Oct 3, 2010

Ok, so I walk into the living room where my 13 yo son is playing on the laptop. My 10 yo and his friend are in the room playing a video game. My 13 yo immediately closes the laptop when I walk in, so I asked him what he was doing. He said nothing. I could tell he was hiding something. I asked him again and he said nothing. I opened the screen and he's pushing the mouse buttons to try to close it out. I saw some racy cartoon images and told him to put the computer away now.

After he brings it into my office to put it away, I asked again what he was doing. He said nothing and I told him that I can look up the history on the computer. Better to tell me now than to make me have to look it up. He said "sex games"

I can feel the blood rushing to my head. He is my oldest of 3 boys. I told him to put the computer away and not to get it out again and to go to his room and clean it up (to give me time to calm down). My husband had an errand to run and he'll be back soon. I'm going to tell him and see what he thinks, but has anyone else been in this situation before? How did you handle it?

I'm pretty upfront with my kids about sex. My 13 yo just recently got a GF. They only talk at school or football games and dances. I know it's natural to be curious about sex at that age, but I don't want him looking at porn on the internet.

;

Ah, the beautiful age of 13, hormones start raging, and they - NKC

[ In Reply To ..]
lose their minds! My son is now 18, but I remember well how shocked, frustrated, mortified I was dealing with him at that age.

Here's how I handled it. First, my husband calmed me down and said "Honey, this is what boys do." We just confronted it head on. We basically said we know you're curious and that is completely normal. It's always important that they know they are not abnormal. But then we talked about pornography and how it was absolutely not allowed in our house and how he was absolutely not allowed to look at it EVER! Then went into all the reasons why porn is bad.

Obviously, your son knew he was doing something wrong. So I would address that. Ask him why he felt ashamed enough to hide what he was doing and lie about it. Use that as a jumping off point. He knew on some level that it was wrong.

It's up to you whether you feel the need to punish him or not. What we did, was tell our son he couldn't use the computer for a while. And that's when we decided to set up a family computer in the family room where it was out in the open -- no laptops, no computers in bedrooms, and mom's office was off limits PERIOD.

Anyway, that's how we handled it. Also your son may feel more comfortable talking about porn with your husband. I know my son did. I just accepted there are just some things between father and son I don't need to know about.

My 13-year-old son exerpience - sheepwhisperer

[ In Reply To ..]
Yep, I had the same experience. I was on my computer getting ready to work and accidentally hit the internet history. To saw I was shocked to the sites he had been is putting it mildly. Of course, my husband's response is "don't worry, boys will be boys." Anyway, he was at school when I found this so I had time to calm down and think about what I was going to say. I picked him up at school that day so we could talk in private. I told him what I had found, that I understood he is curious which is normal and that he is to not get on there again. I told him I was really disappointed in him because he knew he was not supposed to do it. I think that bothered him more than anything else that I said, that I was disappointed in him. It never occurred to me to put blocks on the computer, as I still thought of him as my "little man." but at 13 I should have known better. Needless to say, they are on there now and he no longer has access to those sites or my computer. As far as I know, that has been the end of it and I hope it stays that way! Good Luck and hope we survive the teenage years!

My son did the same thing at about the same age - - been there

[ In Reply To ..]
I found what on the surface looked like a normal anime cartoon, printed, in his papers until you looke closer and I was shocked! But when he came home from school I confronted him about it, let him know it was against the rules of the house, and we went on from there. I didn't make a huge deal out of it. He was embarrassed, knowing that I knew, and I think that's all it needed. He's 21 now and I think he's still a virgin (couldn't guarantee it, but he's only had two girlfriends). It'll pass. Curiosity, you know?

Your father/hubby had magazines, your son has the internet. - nm

[ In Reply To ..]
nm

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