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My 'baby' is graduating from high school this weekend

Posted: Jun 2, 2011

I can not believe my baby is graduating high school. This May my two boys turned 18 and 21 and now in September they will both be in community college. I am so probud of them coming this far but it is bitter sweet. They both have Asperger's syndrome (very high functioning autism) and although they are growing up, not sure if they will ever leave home. They are good boys and I have done all I can to help them succeed in the world and there are new life lessons every day. If the day comes that they do leave, I will be happy in that they can go out in the world and survive on their own but sad to see them go, but more happy that I know they will be able to take care of themselves when I am gone. I do think the younger one will be able to do it some day, but worried more about the older one, although he seems to be getting a handle on what he wants to do with his life, so baby stems encourage me. Just had to boast. Feeling very proud this week and wanting to scream it from the rooftops, but since scared of heights, this is close enough. Lot of years of lessons ahead, but we have made it this far so far! I am proud of my children.

;

graduating - MT

[ In Reply To ..]
I say you should pat yourself on the back as many times as you want! Congratulations :) You must be an amazing parent, your sons are lucky to have you.

Congratulations Mom. - They grow up so fast, dont they?

[ In Reply To ..]
You have every reason to be proud of them and of yourself. I am curious about how each of them views their future and why you are more concerned about the elder son. Also, I am not making the connection between the encouragement you feel now that he seems to be getting a handle on that and the reference to baby stems. Is he a candidate for that therapy?

No one can know what the future holds for their children and the concerns you express here are shared by most parents. I worry about the world my son (age 33 now) will face after I am gone and what a different place it is than the one I grew up in. At times I feel ill-equipped to advise, guide or influence him since the changes have been so drastic between the mid 1900s and the millenium. The following is a poem I have referred to many times during my parenting years that has brought me much comfort in this regard. I hope it can do the same for you.

On Children
Khalil Gibran

Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might
that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable.

my first thought was that she meant to say - wimt

[ In Reply To ..]
baby steps encourage her, not baby stems. To the OP, as I am sure you know, all parents have concerns for their children as they grow and hope they will live a successful and enjoyable and safe and smart, etc. life. I cannot imagine the magnification of those feeling when you have a child/children with a disability. I wish you and your boys the best in their lives as adults. You sound like you have a positive attitude and that is a wonderful thing.

Thanks. That makes sense. - nm

[ In Reply To ..]
nm

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