Funny Hospital Chart Bloopers

My sister sent me an email yesterday with these.  I thought you all might enjoy reading them.  I told her this is stuff I get with ASR every day.  I, of course, do not know if they are ASR or not, but it sure looks like a lot of stuff I get on that.  Hope it gives you a smile:

HOSPITAL CHART BLOOPERS
> (Actual writings from hospital charts)
>
> 1. The patient refused autopsy.
>
> 2. The patient has no previous history of suicides
>
> 3. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.
>
> 4. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she
> was very hot in bed last night.
>
> 5. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a
> year.
>
> 6. On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it
> disappeared.
>
> 7. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears
> to be depressed.
>
> 8. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.
>
> 9. Discharge status: Alive but without permission.
>
> 10. Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year old male, mentally alert but
> forgetful.
>
> 11. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
>
> 12. She is numb from her toes down.
>
> 13. While in ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home.
>
> 14. The skin was moist and dry.
>
> 15. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.
>
> 16. Patient was alert and unresponsive.
>
> 17. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.
>
> 18. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life,
> until she got a divorce.
>
> 19. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for
> physical therapy.
>
> 20. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.
>
> 21. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.
>
> 22. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function
>
> 23. Skin: somewhat pale but present.
>
> 24. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.
>
> 25. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.