Sorry..no joke

Haven't seen anything new here in awhile. Thought this was a funny joke. This is a story which is perfectly logical to all Engineers A wife asks her engineer husband, "Could you please go shopping for me And buy one carton of milk, and if they have eggs, get 6." A short time later the husband comes back with 6 cartons of milk. The wife asks him, "Why did you buy 6 cartons of milk?" He replied, "They had eggs." ...

A wild-eyed woman walked into a crowded bar in downtown Washington, District of Columbia, waving an unholstered pistol and yelled out, “I have a .45 caliber Colt 1911, with a seven-round magazine, plus one in the chamber. I want to know who has been sleeping with my husband?” A female voice from the back of the room called out, “You need more ammo, Hillary!” ...

What's the difference between a lawyer and a sperm? A sperm has one chance in a million of becoming a human being. ...

Today we had a break for jokes, etc. I thought this was kind of funny: Two young boys were whiling an afternoon away walking through a cemetery and reading the headstones out loud. One boy stopped at a headstone and read: "Here lies a lawyer and an honest man." The other boy answered: "There must be two men buried there." ...

A woman in a hot air balloon realised she was lost. She reduced altitude and spotted a man below.She descended a little more and shouted: "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago but I don't know where I am."The man below replied, "You're in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You're between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude."''You must be an Engineer", said th ...

Eric's closed door meeting with journalists - Washington Post reports "they are allowed to say that the Justice Dept supports press freedom." If this isn't a joke, it ought to be. ...

Hamas is attacking. Israel is defending. Russia is invading. Boko Haram is massacring. ISIS is marching. Iran and N. Korea are threatening. American cities are crumbling. The southern border of the USA has dissolved. America's debt is skyrocketing and Americans are hurting. Our enemies are laughing. Obama is fundraising. Please take it easy on Obama, it's his first job! ...

In a murder trial, the defense attorney was cross-examining a pathologist. Here's what happened: Attorney: Before you signed the death certificate, had you taken the pulse? Coroner: No. Attorney: Did you listen to the heart? Coroner: No. Attorney: Did you check for breathing? Coroner: No. Attorney: So when you signed the death certificate, you weren't sure the man was dead, were you? Coroner: Well, let me put it this way. The man's brain was sitting in a jar on m ...

Santa had his reindeer. They were: Dasher, Dancer, Prancer and Vixen, Comet Cupid Donner Bliltzen. But very few know about that ninth reindeer and it's not Rudolph. I will give you a hint that in this line: All of the other reindeerUsed to laugh and call him names I will put the answer after I post this. ...

that is there is a dime's difference between Republican and Democrats. And you know who is laughing? Those in power who read these silly boards and see: Obama this, Bush that, Democrats this, Repubs that. If you stop and think how LITTLE things change from one administration to the next you will begin to have a clue: The system is designed to support the status quo: American as imperialist (foreign policy). Middle class paying for lower and upper classes. Of course there a ...

I guess it is not a joke as I sit here looking out my window. My area of Maine is expected to get 8-14 inches of snow with wind gusts between 35-50 mph today. It is a wet and heavy snow so it is sticking to everything and does look nice, but not on April 1st. It will not last long and will melt quickly, but it does not give you the spring fever you should be feeling this time of year. I want to hear the birds chirping and see the trees budding - does not look too pro ...

My boyfriend's cousin called me his "goody two shoes" girlfriend when he first met me and now he gets embarassed every time I mention it, so as a joke to him I want to make him a goody-two-shoes costume for my halloween party. All I can think to do is take a poster board, put elastic on the back, make arm holes, and glue candy and shoes to the front of it, and write goody two-shoes on it. Does anyone have a better idea??? ...

Despite doomsday warnings from the White House and lawmakers on both sides that hundreds of thousands would lose their jobs as a result of the sequester, it turns out the budget cuts have only led to one job being lost among 23 federal agencies. Now Sen. Tom Coburn, R-Okla., is demanding answers as to why the Obama administration repeatedly warned taxpayers that the $85.3 billion in spending cuts, which went into effect in March 2013, would threaten hundreds of thousands of jobs. The findings w ...

By Raw StoryThursday, January 21st, 2010 -- 8:34 pm Agent was contraband detection trainer; 'no longer employed' at TSA These days, joking about anything illegal while in an airport security line will likely land you in a holding cell, and might even result in criminal charges. But this column from the Philadelphia Inquirer has some wondering whether that rule applies to TSA employees themselves. Inquirer columnist Daniel Rubin reports that a 22-year-old University of Michigan stude ...

http://rawstory.com/2009/11/gop-arrested-dirty-tricks/ http://www.palmettoscoop.com/2009/11/17/barrett-consultant-arrested-for-dirty-campaign-tricks/ http://www.topix.com/afam/2009/06/another-republican-makes-off-color-joke-about-obama ...

Independents also expect Ryan to do substantially better than Biden, although aren't quite as excited as Pubs over the man some are describing as the "new intellectual leader" of the Republican Party. Yes, that IS Ryan they're talking about. ...

Her: auntie M? me: yes? her: knock knock me: who's there? her: (laughing the belly llaugh of a 3 year old) that's funny! Let's do it again! ...

At last night's SOTU: President Obama: “I know you want those job-creating projects, I’ve seen you all at ribbon-cuttings.” Groans. Well, HE thought it was funny. ...

Sorry..no joke

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