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Has anyone else had this happen? (kinda long)

Posted: Jun 28, 2015

If so, what did you do to break these spells? In the last few days I have had spells where my mind just goes completely blank and I sit here staring at the screen not knowing what to do. It has been happening when I sit down to work and even in the middle of a report. I will just sit here staring at the screen. Sometimes when I look down it has been 15-20 minutes or more since I started a document and not a single line typed.

It scares me because I know it could be something serious, but I have no vehicle and have to pay someone to take me anywhere, and that is if I can even get a ride. I am a single parent and have to work to feed my son. Part of it is most likely having days when I don't eat just so my son can, but a lot is also stress and anxiety. I have no insurance because I can't afford it. There are free and low income clinics, but they said they cannot accept my proof of income because it would be too easy for me to alter it to get more assistance. I have run into the same thing with trying to get Medicaid. I have even taken a letter from Accounting as proof of income and still get the same run around. At my last appointment, the caseworker told me that the only suggestion she had for me is to get out and get a "regular stable income". I work at home because of anxiety and no longer being able to see a doctor to get my medications to help with it plus no vehicle and there are no buses or taxis or whatever people use in cities. I am in a very small town. Dealing with people who have her attitude make things worse and I just feel like giving up. My son is the only reason I don't.

;

It could be some type of seizure. I have a friend with a daughter - who has spells like that

[ In Reply To ..]
with a blank stare for minutes at a time. It could also be stress related.

Ty I sure hope not - zippy

[ In Reply To ..]
nm

would not be surprised if - MrsBuns

[ In Reply To ..]
this were 100% stress-related. There's something called an anxiety-related dissociation, where if you have chronic stress (also occurs with PTSD cases, too) you might zone out periodically - kind of a protective mechanism your brain creates in order to give your body a little rest. Or at least that's what I read - but I'm no psychologist. I have had a lot of stress (tho not the same type as you have) and I know it can do a real number on a person both physically and mentally, in sometimes surprising ways.

Otherwise, do you have any support system whatsoever? Is there any chance you could move to a larger town that has more services, more neighbors, more assistance, even taxis? And even a local church might have a "ministry" that helps people like yourself. You sound pretty isolated. A move might also greatly benefit your son. It's something to consider, anyway.

Ty - zippy

[ In Reply To ..]
Thank you for not sounding judgemental. I do appreciate it. You are probably right on the stress. Normally working in my little herb and flower garden helps, but lately I can kneel down and be out of breath and dizzy in just a short time. It is depressing to think I used to be able to get all the help I needed medically and psychologically at any time and now they want insurance or full cash price up front. I know I need help so I can get a better job to take better care of my son and myself, but it seems like everyone wants to make it impossible to get help.

I no longer have a support system. I had to shut everyone out because dealing with people stresses me out so bad I was actually admitted to the hospital for dehydration and nervous breakdown. I had not been able to keep anything down in over a week when that happened, and that was just from dealing with family and people I have known for years. I did relatively well when I was able to see a doctor and get my anxiety and depression meds regularly. Moving to a larger area is definitely not an option. I moved to a smaller area to get away from people. I had tried the church thing around the time I was hospitalized and that made it worse. They made me feel like crap because I did not share their religious beliefs. Same as has always happened when I tried to turn to religion for comfort. I was wrong to think they would care and not judge me. Things have got to get better soon somehow. My son starts school this year, so he will have socialization, which he loves. It has just gotten to the point I am unable to deal with the stress of being around anyone even for my son. I hate what I have become. I used to love going to the library and park with my son, taking him to the movies, and just doing things to spend time with him.

A few thoughts - Linda

[ In Reply To ..]
I noted you don't eat so your son can and wonder if you are having blood sugar fluctuations. I supervised a transcription department and one of the MTs had periods where she was kind of out of it, not remembering things we discussed the day before, etc. She was having periods of low blood sugar.

If you have a food bank and bus service, I think you should get food there. I know you can't have the greatest selection at the food bank, but it can supplement groceries. Can you apply for food stamps? You may be able to do this online.

If you can get some orange juice and put a little bit in a drink you sip throughout the day, it may help with blood sugars if that is what is causing this.

You said you get dizzy when kneeling. Is that when you stand up? I have orthostatic hypotension, feeling like I'm going to pass out after getting up from bending over pulling weeds. I just have to stand still for a minute and wait for the BP to normalize.

Have you considered applying for state disability? If you applied for disability for anxiety and maybe depression. They would send you to a doctor (at no charge to you) to confirm diagnosis and at least you could be seen by someone. Have you tried the Affordable Care Act to see if you might get a great rate for insurance? I know it's probably too expensive, I was quoted $91 a month for a $450. a month policy.

Last idea: If you should be getting child support and are not being paid, you might look into pursuing that.

I totally sympathize as in this profession with frequent lay offs, with MT as our only means of support, it sucks. I've been living in poverty for the last few years when I used to make $40K a year. It's extremely difficult. The stress related to poverty can be overwhelming, especially when you have a child. I hope things improve for you.

One more thought... - Linda

[ In Reply To ..]
When I kicked my insignificant other out but couldn't afford the rent on my own, I rented out the master bedroom/bath with kitchen privileges which paid half the rent.

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