A community of 30,000 US Transcriptionist serving Medical Transcription Industry

Confrontational grown kid, so tired


Posted: Mar 31, 2015

Before someone says way they were raised, both kids grown and difference between night and day. I just called my daughter to ask a simple question. She works with math, I am slow with it. She does a short form income tax each year, I itemize. My question was what was the standard deduction for a person on short form. I got so much talk back it was unreal from different places charge different, you have to know this and that and I said maybe I am not making myself clear and repeated, saying just a ball park figure and still yada, yada, yada. This is not the first time, it is always like this. Just the other day she was telling me, "Mom if you ever needed me to I would be more than happy to share your home and help you out" like if my husband died or I had to be dependent upon someone. I could never see that happening. Does anyone have the same issues and how do you handle. Do you ignore, try to get along, be submissive and not say anything to keep the peace, what works if anything does? ;

Do not understand exactly what your issue is. - Because she talks to you too much?

[ In Reply To ..]
Not sure what yada, yada, yada is, or exactly what YOUR issues are. You do not make yourself clear. She is talking to you too much? Count yourself blessed. She said if you ever needed her to move in and help you out, she would. You have a problem with that? Does anyone have the same issues, and how do they handle it? Handle what?

I do not see the "confrontation." - ?? NM

[ In Reply To ..]
d

I asked what I think is a rather simple question for - her, she files own taxes

[ In Reply To ..]
on short form and what I got back was endless questions. I asked what was the standard deduction per person and as usual instead of an answer (such as the $6,200 it is) I got according to who filled the taxes out to where they were filled out. I kept trying to repeat the question. I thought perhaps she did not understand. If I said the sky was blue, it would be orange according to her. If I like candy with coconut she hates it. If I love my flip phone she is not satisfied with that and always tries to tell me why I need the brick type phone. As far as the statement about her living with me, no that would never work because I never say anything without her coming back in a confrontation manner with me, always.

I worked with a woman like your daughter. sm - Old Anon

[ In Reply To ..]
I called people like that contrarians. She drove me absolutely crazy. You couldn't even have a simple social conversation because whatever you said, she had to interject 'but this or but that'. Sometimes you couldn't even finish a sentence and she'd be shooting back a response. After she started doing that, I would say "excuse me, but may I finish what I was going to say?" because half the time what I ended up saying was a completely different thought or idea than what she had responded to, so her response was meaningless. She did not actually listen, had no regard for anyone else's opinion but her own, and always had to have the last word. It's sad to say that most people avoided her including me after a while.

You knew how it was going to go, why call her? - hmmm

[ In Reply To ..]
xxx

My daughter and what I did. - nana7

[ In Reply To ..]
Is a control friek and if I don't do things her way we get in a huge fight and then we can't see our grandkids until she decides we can. This has been going on for 20 years and it has gotten worse every year.

When I got married to my current husband 9 years ago I had a big wedding and her family was supposed to be in the wedding. Well when she found out who I was inviting, some of the people she did not like, she told me if I invited those people her family would not attend the wedding. Guess what they didn't attend the wedding. Broke my heart. Eventually I forgave her but it will always be a sore spot between us and then things progressively got worse. She thought she could tell me who can be in my house, everything.

She fights with her siblings all the time until they had enough and refused to talk to her or sit in a room with her. So I started to separate holidays and she fought about that.

This past Thanksgiving she told me lets do Thanksgiving on Friday because she had to be up early for work on Black Friday. I said fine, so had my other kids over for Thanksgiving. When she found out I was having Thanksgiving dinner with the other kids she threw a fit and refused to let my grandkids come for dinner. Well three of them insisted they were coming to spend Thanksgiving with my family. My oldest grandson is 20 so she has no control over him but the other 2 that came are 16 and 13. They surprised me at the door and they were not here 5 minutes and her ballless husband calls my 13 year old granddaughter and says she did not have permission to come and when she gets home she is in trouble. I held her in my arms and she was balling. They got here at 4 and they told her she could only stay until 6. But the 16-year old could stay. ????? Maked no sense at all.

I decided then I would not do this to my grandchildren and I told them when they turned 18 and did not need their permission they would be welcome at all of our family functions. She told me if I gave her kids any Christmas presents she would throw them out. So I took everything that I had bought for them back. She blocked our numbers from the kids phones so they can't call us and if I go pick up my 20 year old grandson the other kids are not allowed to come say hi.

She has embarrassed us at family functions causing fights and arguements. I have asked her to leave numerous events because of the way she was acting.

In my case it did not get better, just kept getting worse. I was trying to keep my family together.

The stories could go on but I think you get the gest. So I posted a big long letter to her on her ballless husband's Facebook and let her have it. I told her all the things she has done to my family and that she was teaching her kids wrong. Teaching her kids they are pawns and her property to use as weapons. I blasted her with every dirty thing she has ever done to my family. And I did it in the middle of the night cause I knew when they would remove it. Thats okay cause lots of people saw it including her mother in law. Needless to say little miss perfect did not like it but too bad.

I have had enough and will not take that treatment from anyone let along my own child. So I completely washed my hands of her and the rest of the family has too.

Just my experience. My advise is nip it in the bud before you end up in my situation.

From OP- Nana, I think we have the same kid - sounds so much alike

[ In Reply To ..]
Family functions: On 3 different birthdays, hers, her brothers and his wife each one got treated to a dinner out of their choice. She always caused issues and I eventually just canceled those. If she did not like someone else's choice, she would complain and just not worth it to me. I was told not to call her before a certain time on the weekend, she worked during the week and wanted to sleep late (yep, her mother). One time thinking I would need surgery and had no ride to the hospital was told by her to make sure it was not during her busy time of the month at work because it would be too hard on her to take off. She keeps her home like a dirty pig pen. Looking to buy a home she has sent links to several she likes. She has several animals, dogs and cats and when asking about how I liked one home made the mistake of talking about the flooring. I noticed most was carpeted even in the dining room and with her horrific housekeeping just saw this as a bad sign. She is budgeting herself very closely, no room for extras after the house. I made the statement about the carpeting, not good with things like cat urine, dog feces, etc. She then remarked she could do like me once moved in and replace all with tile. My reply was the difference was I had the money to replace carpet, she does not. She will ask about something but if I truly reply with how I feel, then I should not have said anything. Spending any holiday with her is just a lost cause because of the friction caused. I sometimes have to work on Christmas. She wants to spend Christmas Eve elsewhere and then come here after sleeping late on Christmas morning. By then I am anxious because of my having to start work at noon. I volunteered to work this past Christmas just so would have peace of mind that day, saying sorry not celebrating this year, no tree, no nothing. I told her lets get together just the 2 of us each month to try new restaurants. I am not enjoying those and that has only been for about the past 6 months. She does not know me, does not get my type of joking, things just fly over her head, just seems clueless about most things. We seem to have absolutely nothing in common. When she married a few years back I was not asked to join in any celebration, only to pay for the rehearsal dinner and then I showed up at the wedding.

I have really tried not to cut ties with her, I really have. Her father has never been in her life, her choice and she has seemed to run all her friends off 1 by 1. I love being around my friends and we can go out, talk, enjoy each other, have a nice dinner, no effort. I cannot enjoy my time with her. I hate feeling like this. I really feel like an after thought when it comes to her.

Both of them sound like they have BPD - sm

[ In Reply To ..]
Both sound like they may have borderline personality disorder.

Similar Messages:


I'm Not A Confrontational Enough PersonDec 21, 2013
I am so frustrated by this situation and it is hard to know what exactly to say.  Please help.  My two kids have a friend who is being raised by a father, who is immature, and has no idea how to budget money.  The kid's father has a government job (makes more than me) and gets paid once a month.  Well, as soon as he gets paid, he spends, spends, spends.  He takes his kid out to eat every night and the kid is ALWAYS walking around with at least $20 bucks in his pocke ...

Are Anybody Else's Grown Children (30 Y/o)Feb 20, 2011
I have two grown sons and I think the daughter-in-laws have a good deal to do with it, but they are mad at me all the time.  One sends me nasty E-mails to which I do not respond at all.  The other is more passive-aggressive (such as unfriended me on Facebook and didn't wish me Happy Anniversary, although sent a text TO MY HUSBAND). I try to walk a very tight line because they use my grandchildren as weapons, and I won't get to see them.  I never criticize their actions; ...

If I Hadn't Grown Up To Be A Transcriptionist, I Would Have Been...Apr 03, 2012
nm ...

Has Anyone Grown Canteloupes Or Honeydews? Aug 30, 2011
I have a beautiful canteloupe (I think)  growing in my front yard,  a volunteer, apparently from some of the compost dirt we have been spreading around.  Trouble is, I have no idea how to tell if it is ripe.  It is really big and healthy looking, but I don't want to pick it before its  time.  Thanks!  ...

Need To Tell My Grown Children About Medical IssuesOct 29, 2009
I have always considered myself in excellent health especially with all the health issues I type on each and every day with people younger or near my age. I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism in the late 80s and the doctor asked me about anyone in my family who had it, usually he said runs in the females and told me to let any daughters I might have the information. I went back to an older aunt and she could think of no one in the family with this. I since have been diagnosed with a kidney diseas ...

Grown Children And Sibling RivalryAug 27, 2010
I have two grown, successful children.  A 30 y/o son, married with a child, lives about 4 hours away.  A 25 y/o daughter, single, professional, working full time and enrolled in a master's program, lives 10 hours away. Naturally, I see my son more often.  He wants his child to be in our lives as much as possible (my father practically raised him when his father bailed on us).  I just had a long conversation with my daughter who apparently has always felt that I "favor" ...

Moms Of Married Grown KidsJul 14, 2014
I am the mother of grown kids. My son is married x11 years, has a 6 year old. He and his wife are having problems because her caught her cheating. They are trying to work through it, but he was a preteen when my own marriage fell apart due to my ex's repeated cheating. Since this is his wife's second time cheating, he feels that they are done and is just trying to be civil until their situations get settled (separate living places, custory, finances and all that stuff...). I still spe ...

Two Grown, 4 Children Visiting San Antonio LaterApr 21, 2015
The kids are ages 8, 10, 11 and 13. I want to go to the, believe it is called City Walk (?) and would like anyone who might live there or know the city some information on a nice place to eat, not the most expensive but not McDonald's either. Total of 6 traveling so also on the lookout for a hotel that might fit that many. TIA. ...

So Ticked! Just Read On Facebook Grown Daughter Jan 21, 2010
got fined $685.00, for what I have yet to find out. She drinks too much and she smokes marijuana. i have tried repeatedly to talk with her about the effects of heavy drinking on the body but she is not listening. I told hubs I was hoping she would be stopped while buzzed and have her car impounded and have the license revoked for awhile. She has a really good job and makes excellent money but yet she wants to get caught in public doing something illegal. Maybe if she has to keep paying fines suc ...

And Here We Go Again. I Am Just So Tired Of It All.Jan 04, 2012
think I am just going to take tomorrow off and just stay in bed.  Ex is pulling stunts again.  Want to take the kids far away, but can't.  He is toxic for them:(  sigh.  ...

Im So TiredSep 18, 2012
Can anyone help me? I have hit a serious dead end. I feel unappreciated, unloved, unwanted, and every other "un" you can think of. I am tired of cooking dinner, doing the dishes, doing the laundry, cleaning the damn house, making sure every one has everything, and tired of working my sore fingers to the bone. I look out the window and feel as if the world is passing me by. People going places, smiling, laughing, having fun, and I want that. What happened? Where did my life go? Does anyon ...

So Tired.Dec 17, 2012
I'm late to the gun debate on the boards, because I needed time to calm down after Friday's tragedy.  I didn't want to come here all emotional and start swiping at people and coming up with totally unrealistic expectations of our country regarding gun control.  But the more I thought about it, the more I realized how completely saturated we are with guns. I grew up with guns, in a house practically stuffed to the brim with them. My family are paranoid "survivalists." &n ...

Am Tired Of Being Fat, Yes I Said It FatDec 11, 2014
I do not need any information about walking, exercising, know that but have some health issues that prevent a lot of that. Now let's get to the fat issue. I wish I could live off of water alone for about a month, that ought to about do it but I probably would have such a headache from lack of any solid food. I am also acknowleding the fact that a fast weight loss also means a possible fast gain back. I got all this but what I would like to know, does anyone have a really low caloric list ...

Tired Of Belly FatMar 02, 2010
I have done Weight Watchers, South Beach, Sonoma, and just generally starved myself into a rage, but this newfound belly fat is hanging on! I am talking cardio for 45 minutes a day and some weight training too! My newly-toned shoulders sure do enhance my bulging middle, which actually used to indent kinda nicely, I think. I'm gonna be 50 soon. I know my hormones are in a mosh pit, but something's gotta give, right? So here's what's next.....tell me if any ...

Observations - Tired Of It AllMar 25, 2010
The hatred on this board toward anyone who is a conservative has been absolutely rampant and so unnecessary.  It has become so bad here, the only way to describe it is a disease.  People have become totally obsessed with hating conservatives.  There are accusations of violence, yet no proof.  No videos, no voice clips, not even an iphone video or picture…nothing.  All you have is someone telling you things were said and done by conservatives, yet nobody can collab ...

Tired Of The Hypocrisy.Apr 09, 2010
For all of you who consider pubs evil and how we are inciting violence because we are all racist bigots who hate Obama and should never protest or hold up signs opposing Obama's position on things....well....how about a dose of your own medicine. Here is a link that shows a collage of the various signs that were held up during protests by liberals during Bush's administration.  http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3506/3797552703_9dbdd22d38_b.jpg   Also, here is a list of libera ...

I'm So Tired Of The Tax Debate!May 14, 2010
Tax the rich more....tax the poor less, etc.  It is my opinion that if you tax the rich more, it won't help that much considering there are so many loopholes in the tax code that I'm sure the rich will find a way to get out of paying more taxes.  Why don't we just do a flat tax.  That will eliminate the loopholes.  Simple and easy...probably why they won't do it though.  They need something confusing so the crooks in the world can get out of paying ta ...

Tired Of Your RidiculeNov 08, 2012
"Conservatism is not so much a philosophy as an attitude, a constant force, performing a timeless function in the development of a free society, and corresponding to a deep and permanent requirement of human nature itself." As an individual who practices conservatism, I am thankful that I continue to live in a country that allows me to speak my words, that allows me to go to the school of my choice, that allows me and affords me the opportunity to make my own choices, that allows me the opportu ...

Do You Ever Have Days Where You Are So Tired You Feb 20, 2016
Get you out of bed?? I mean seriously, deep down severe fatigue?? I am having a day like that today.  I haven't felt like this in a long time.  It used to happen more frequently, a few times a year.  When my kids were younger I would lay in bed and think my kids would come home from school with me lying in bed and unable to get up.  But eventually I would be able to rouse from my fatigue and walk to the kitchen and get a cold beverage.  I think for me it is hormonal ...

Hair Dye What To Buy Tired Of ColorsilkDec 03, 2009
I have long hair that usually takes about 3 boxes of dye.  I usually only do it about 2-3 times a year and do the all over color each time because my color tends to fade.  I think hair dye might be one of those things that you get what you pay for.  I usually buy the Colorsilk ($2-$3 at Walmart) because it is cheaper and I am usually broke.  This year I think I will splurge a little and buy a more expensive brand.  In the past I have tried the Herbal ess. and Natrual Ins ...

I Am So Tired Of People Acting Like Those....smApr 11, 2011
on Medicare are on the "dole"  EVERYONE gets Medicare when they are 65, and it is not free, and there are deductibles that need to be met.  I pay monthly for Part B coverage, suppemental insurance and pharmacy insurance, about $250 total.  I have worked all my life and payed payroll taxes toward Medicare and Social Security for a good many years. I do think that it is time to raise the ceiling on income that is subject to deductions.  Any income avove $120,000 is n ...

You Guys Are Making Me Tired!May 20, 2011
I'm ready for a peaceful, happy weekend. I hope all of you have one too. ...

You Know What I'm So Tired Of With This Election Year? Especially The DNC.Sep 05, 2012
It's like an echo. Every single person who speaks or gave a speech, and every government mayor, governor, government worker who speaks or gave a speech, are saying the exact same thing. Don't they have thoughts of their own? Can't they think for themselves? It certainly doesn't look that way. I'm surprised the women are being bamboozled so badly. It's shocking.  Oh, and I love the way Debbie Wasserman-Schultz got caught in another lie and then lied about it... ...

Prayer Request For Tired MTFeb 08, 2013
Hello, I am having some health issues with my gallbladder, or so it seems. I don't have health insurance as it is not offered through my job. I can't afford to have anything done. It's really depressing to know you work for everything you have and it can be taken away from high hospital bills. I am currently taking a medical coding class. I find my stressed, tired all the time, depressed, and not to mention the "horrible" gallbladder attacks. I have changed my diet, but feel I am ...

Extremely Tired All The Time Feb 03, 2014
I've always had an average amount of energy but lately I literally feel as if I am wading through water. I actually feel weighted down. I never used to be able to sleep anywhere but in bed, but I notice I have been nodding off in my chair even though I sleep well at night. I don't snore or have apnea. (It's been really cold here, and I find the nodding off occurs in my recliner when I have a blanket on me.)  My diet isn't that unhealthy, but it is pretty monotonous. I fi ...

Anyone Sick And Tired Of All The LiesMar 10, 2015
Boy, I would sure love some real truth for a change. I am sick and tired of these excuses and lies that the Democrats give for everything and am sick of Mr. O saying he didn't know till he heard it on the news or it's someone else's fault. That is like my ex-husband blaming me for his wife's children renigging on a loan and him going bankrupt and other things like this he always accused me of. Nothing to do with me at all or our son. Anyway, I am more than ready for a ...

I Am So Tired Of The Bull Crap From Both SidesFeb 19, 2011
This board is a prime example of double standards from both sides, hypocrisy on both sides, and the blind following their choosen herd without trying to see for themselves.  I'm just tired of it all.  Thanks for the rant.  I had to get that off of my chest.  ...

Anyone Else Tired Of Bill Collectors Calling?Dec 22, 2009
Just got another call from a bill collector.  This one asked if I can borrow the money from someone or get a PayDay loan...  UUGGGHHH!!!!  Just had to vent a little...back to pounding the keyboard for money now... ...

To Those Tired Of Income Inequality *news*Jan 22, 2014
The world's 85 richest people own the same amount as about 3,500,000,000 people, or the same amount as the bottom half of the entire global population (3.5 billion). See link for more information. ****** Worldwide economic inequality is looking rather bleak these days, according to a new report by relief organization Oxfam. Oxfam's "Working For The Few" report looked at Credit Suisse's "Global Wealth Report 2013" and Forbes' list of the world's billionaires ...

Any Advice For Tired Or Bleary EyesJun 11, 2014
By the end of my shift sometimes, my eyes just ache.  I have gone back to wearing my glasses instead of my contacts to see if that helps.  I enlarge the font and have good lighting but by the end of the day, they just ache ...