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How to ditch a Chatty Cathy
Posted: Dec 11, 2014
I've recently met a friend of a friend. Let's say her name is Maggie. Maggie is one of those who talks constantly about herself, her life, her kids, her friends, her enemies, her job, etc., etc. She talks almost without stopping to breathe. Our mutual friend had invited her out to eat with us. I'm a very friendly person, but I tend not to talk about myself. I like to talk about other things, more interesting things than my life.
We were at the restaurant for nearly 2 hours, and her mouth never stopped. My friend and I basically just sat there, nodded our heads, and did a lot of mm-hm, uh-huh, and tried to enjoy our dinner. For some reason, Maggie decided that she and I should strike up a friendship and start hanging out together. I didn't want to be rude, but I don't want to be her friend. I just don't. And I don't have to. So I made some excuse about having too many irons in the fire and not having time for anyone new in my life. It went right over her head.
Without being mean, what could I say to her that wouldn't hurt her feelings but would give her the hint that I don't want to be her friend?
;
I know someone like that. Never shuts up, I just make up some excuse - ditto
[ In Reply To ..]like I have a previous appointment.
Being rejecting vs just not accepting - invitations.
[ In Reply To ..]I don't think there is a way to tell someone you don't want to be their friend without being hurtful.
What is your goal? To tell her WHY you don't want to associate with her? Or is it to just avoid her?
If you want to avoid her, you don't have to say anything at all. Just avoid her. Don't accept invitations. Don't answer her calls. Don't answer her email. Don't answer the door. Better still, don't give her your contact information in the first place.
If she invites you to something, simply say "I have other plans." Don't apologize, don't say maybe some other time. Be firm.
There is no need to explain why you "don't want to be her friend." No matter what you say in that regard, it will be rude or hurtful. Definitely don't say that you don't have time for her in your life because it would be untrue. The truth is that you would have time if you liked her.
target4evr - stevie
[ In Reply To ..]She and her friends may stalk you for the rest of your live.
Great suggestions. I'll use them. - OP
[ In Reply To ..]I can easily say I have other commitments (because I really do). Thank you, everyone, who took the time to write your suggestions. I appreciate it!
sshhhhh - anon
[ In Reply To ..]I used to have a friend JUST like this. Finally I just looked up said -If you don't hush and get some air, you're gonna pass out!- After that, it became a joke and I could at least make her quit it. I just took a light hearted approach. Also I would like you to think of this. Of course I don't know your situation, and this is just something to ponder, but you said you like to talk about something more interesting than your life. Try to not only live the length of your life, but the width of it also. Then, your life will be an exciting story :)
Great advice, Anon - OP
[ In Reply To ..]I love what you said, Anon, about living not only the length of one's life, but the width, as well. What a well-rounded look at life. (But I still don't think my life is all that interesting.)
What a funny and appropriate way you mention to respond to someone who won't stop talking. I bet that did make both of you laugh!
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