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Is it just me or does someone saying this just kill the kindness?


Posted: Sep 28, 2014

I recently got a gift from some people, who then said "we just ask that you pay it forward."  That seems kinda tacky to me.Frown

;

Depends on the gift. - Be gracious anyway

[ In Reply To ..]
Depends on the gift. You wouldn't expect to hear that with wedding or birthday presents, but you might with a "gift" of rent or tuition money.

It is a popular thing right now, so maybe they weren't thinking clearly. Or, maybe they just want to think that their generosity will live on. As it should.

Generosity isn't just in the giving, but in the revceiving. I would not focus on thinking this was tacky or not, because that would be mean-spirited on your part. Why try to turn something nice into a reason not to get along? It wouldn't be polite.

I agree. It's like they are telling you what to do! - sm

[ In Reply To ..]
It's part of the New Age philosophy. If I want to pay it forward, I'll pay it forward because I want to...not because someone tells me to.

I think it's wonderful, not tacky - wheres_my_job

[ In Reply To ..]
I think what they mean is, you don't have to give THEM anything in return. They just ask...that you pay it forward, to someone else.

I have said this to people. They haven't seemed to have minded at all. They were just so happy with the GIFT I gave them, freely, not expecting anything in return...for me. Pay it forward isn't really an "expectation" or demand. It just means, IF you can, WHEN you can, do something nice for someone else.

It's not just you. It's tacky - sm

[ In Reply To ..]
Usually people who think they are better than others would say that. How do they know you're not going to pay it forward.

I think the phrase has been overused, but someone who says that, well it's like someone who says "I'll pray for you".

I agree. It's tacky. - sm - Anon

[ In Reply To ..]
Like one of the other replies states, I feel it's like they're telling you what to do. If it's TRULY a gift, it should be given with no expectation of ANYTHING in return to the giver or anybody else.

Don't think it's terrible, but - sm

[ In Reply To ..]
there are some remarks that really don't need to be made. A gift is a gift. It should be as simple as that.

My Take - see msg pls

[ In Reply To ..]
I just looked up the phrase, and it means to do something kind for someone else.

I think there is nothing wrong with that, as long as the receiver offered something to the giver, and that was the giver's response. Otherwise, the giver was being tacky.

But when the giver said "we ask," it sounds like it was a demand. If the receiver said, "what can I do in return?" then a better way for the giver to respond would be, "you owe us nothing, but feel free to do something kind for someone else."

The OP wasn't real clear on how this was all presented, or what the "gift" was. It is truly tacky for sure if it was a birthday present or something.

Sounds like both givers and recipient - not really happy

[ In Reply To ..]
A gift is totally without condition. But, there is nothing wrong with offering something of value along with whatever type of condition the giver wishes to attach. If the conditions are unacceptable to the recipient, simply decline the offer with politeness.

a gift should be offered without stipulations - no strings attached - jmo

[ In Reply To ..]

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