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I am in the process of divorce and my ex and his friends are making me crazy!

Posted: Aug 11, 2014

My soon-to-be ex recently moved in with his buddy and his buddy's wife and their grandkids (whom they are raising) because his utilities were shut off because he doesn't have a job and didn't pay his bills. Long story short, he hasn't even looked for a job since moving in with his buddy. His answer to his financial woes is to try to get into a drug study where they pay you cash for being a lab rat. He has tried to get into three studies. The first study, his BP was too high and they told him no. The second study he actually made it in, but when he showed for his inpatient stay, they did a UDS and he drank (he's an alcoholic) the day before and they kicked him out. I'm not sure what happened with the third. This past weekend apparently my ex decided to come home drunk and bring alcohol with him to hide in his buddy's home. The buddy and wife didn't appreciate it, so they told him to get out which is laughable because the wife likes her weed and the wife's sons have serviced prison time. They are just not the nicest people and now all of sudden they have standards, but it's their home and they can make and break the rules, not my problem. The buddy calls me and says "come get your husband, he had alcohol in my house and he was drunk and I don't appreciate it." I told him I was sorry to hear that, but that I would not be coming to pick him up because I am not responsible for him. I am divorcing him and he's not my problem. The buddy became irate and started screaming and cussing at me on the phone, telling me my ex will be homeless unless I pick him up to which I replied that's his problem. He started screaming at me about all that was wrong with my ex. Finally, I said "thank you, you just outlined all the reasons why I'm divorcing him" and I hung up the phone. Then the buddy's wife blows up my phone with all these vile text messages, calling me all kinds of filthy names, telling me I'm a lousy wife and lousy mother and that I dumped my problems on her doorstep and now I need to come and pick him up. I sent one text message that said "You took him in. I did not dump him. I am not his mother and I will not be taking care of him or picking him up. If you have a problem with him, deal with it yourself and leave me alone." She sent me at least 35 messages on Friday evening and then sent me about five on Saturday and Sunday. It is now Monday and I have received two more messages from her. Isn't this harassment? What can the police do to make this craziness stop? I've saved all the texts, but I'm not sure what legal recourse I have. These people are unstable and have had violent run ins with their neighbors in the past and I'm a little nervous as to what they might try to pull with me. I don't know if they know where I live or not, but I still don't appreciate their threatening behavior.

;

Sounds like written threats to me - I would consider calling police

[ In Reply To ..]
My daughter was getting threatening/harassing texts from her ex-boss. She called police & they went to his work and talked to him. No more texts.

PS Can you block their numbers - from your phone?

[ In Reply To ..]
That way, you wouldn't even see them.

A word of advice - ... see message

[ In Reply To ..]
Restraining Order!!!

then keep all documentation, all of it. text messages, emails, voice mails, what have you. You may need it to have evidence of harassment in court. after restraining order and eventual divorce, take them to civil court and sue them for the harassment they are inflicting on you. If all of what you say is true, you will be compensated for your harassment.

good luck.

Definitely save the texts - You may need them.

[ In Reply To ..]
I agree about the restraining order.

If you have an iPhone you have the option - to block any further contact

[ In Reply To ..]
Add the phone number as a contact, then go to edit and choose block this caller. It blocks any contact from that phone number, calls and texts.

If you don't have an iPhone, go to the FAQ section of your carrier and do a search for blocking an unwanted phone number.

Blocking is the fastest way to shut them down. Save the previous unwanted contacts from them in case you need to get a restraining order.

I'd change locks -- or move - Val

[ In Reply To ..]
Don't waste time having conversations with these people. They're all addicts. Document and make police aware of the problem. What do police suggest?

I think that - changing locks

[ In Reply To ..]
is a very good idea also. My concern is that your ex-husband will show up because he will have nowhere to go. Are you in a position to move? I think that is the best option, but maybe not so easy to do at this time.

Harrassment - CALL THE POLICE - anon

[ In Reply To ..]
CALL THE POLICE. At the least they will call and warn them not to contact you. Change your number and call your cell provider and ask to block it on your cell. Secondly save everything and contact your local court. It could be you can file a restraining order. Don't continue to respond to any of it. Response is what they want. If they get no response it stops providing what they want.

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